Sundays with Stretchy Pants

It’s like Tuesdays with Morrie, without all the wisdom.


Bad Music. Good Christians.

ETA: By good I mean, well, a decent enough Christian. Mostly, though, it’s cool Muslims in the video (why are they at a McCain rally? I don’t know. Free country, I guess). I wrote the title like that because I’m always all down on the Xtians (they hate when you put an “X” there. They hate it when you do it to XMas, too, because what if Jesus is that small that it makes him go away when you abbreviate the Christ out of everything?) and I thought you’d be surprised that I used the words “good” and “Christian” together. Surprise!

Maya watches the Mr. Roboto video more times per day than necessary. And she sings along. I blame my brother. Maybe he didn’t introduce her to Styx, but some of our shared (obviously mutant) genes must have been lying dormant within me and I inadvertently passed them on to my precious baby. Too bad there’s not a pre-natal screen for that. At least we would have been prepared and we could’ve tried to keep the gene from becoming active. My theory is that Maya’s mutant Styx gene would have remained dormant if she hadn’t been next to me listening to her uncle’s voice on the phone the other day. Obviously, it’s an auditorily-activated gene. Sick.

In other news, more of this needs to happen:
Muslim McCain Fans Confront Intolerance at Rally

Related posts

They’re Not Supposed to Answer the Phones.

I made some calls for Obama again last night and it was brutal. People aren’t supposed to answer their phones at this point in the election. They’re supposed to be so sick of getting calls that when they see the caller ID pop up with a number they don’t recognize, they’re supposed to mutter, “Dadgum political calls!” and walk away. How else can people like me feel like we’re helping the campaign without really doing anything? I love leaving messages and stuff, but I’m not so good with the talking to strangers.

I don’t want to discourage people from volunteering, but last night was hard. The first time I did it, I talked to about 7 people out of almost 70. Last night, almost half of my 48 calls were answered. By grumpy people. There were some bright spots, but my very first call started with, “That bastard isn’t getting my vote!” which I thought was rude even for a McCain supporter. Some of the people who answered just wanted to keep their vote private, which I understand so we just chatted a little bit, and I tried to suck up to them and make rainbows and unicorns travel through the phone lines, but I don’t know if that works when I’m calling from a cell phone. (By the way, Lena drew a picture yesterday and the caption was, “I HATE UNICORNS!” Is this the beginning of the slippery slope to being goth?) Sometimes I found myself randomly shouting, “COLIN POWELL!” which would make the person kind of stutter and say, “Uh, yeah, he’s a…he’s a real good guy…and I respect him a lot,” and then I would try to convince them that if Colin Powell says so, we should vote for Obama. But most of the people I talked to claimed to be undecided. And when I was talking to those people, I really wished I hadn’t seen this clip from The Daily Show because I really felt like saying the things that Samantha Bee and Jason Jones start saying at about 2:30 in this video:

Related posts

I Spent Friday Pallin’ Around With Terrorists

Kidding! Obama is totally not a terrorist. For realz! And, well, I probably didn’t actually pal around with him anyway. But I did go to an Obama rally with AmazonMidwife and her kids. We volunteered and it was fun. Dawn watched my kids because she rocks and because the children have been to two rallies and worked at one Campaign for Change headquarters and they’ve, frankly, had enough. Lena said she had mixed feelings about missing the rally, but she really wanted to hang out with Noah. Terrorist.

I saw the anti-classy anti-choice abortion van drive around and around the rally. With a great big picture of an aborted fetus on it. That was gross. And not classy at all. And super gross. It made me go, “Huh. That’s gross. And manipulative.” And then I wondered why we don’t go around bombing abortion vans and anti-choice protestors. And then I remembered it’s because we know that we can look at that van and go, “Ew, gross,” and then we can choose to look away instead of throwing rocks at it. Because nobody is forcing us to look. See how awesome it is to have a choice? It, like, makes the hate go away. Anyway, proof I was there (not much proof, since my camera’s batteries died):

As usual, Obama was totally classy. You know what else is classy? This:

On Friday during a town hall-style meeting in Lakeville, Minn., a supporter told McCain that he feared what would happen if Obama were elected. McCain drew boos when he defended his rival as a “decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States.”
In another exchange, a woman told McCain that she didn’t trust Obama because “he’s an Arab.” Shaking his head and taking the microphone from her, McCain replied: “No, ma’am. He’s a decent, family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign is all about.”

Now if he could just put some ads on that have less to do with fear-mongering and more to do with those issues, he might still lose this race, but at least his credibility will remain intact.

Related posts

Drunk People are Funny

Oh, they’re not drunk? Well, then you all better get out there and vote cuz there’s some crazy misinformed bigots people out there fixin’ to pick our next president.

Related posts

AEP, I’m Not Happy

I want my power to stay on for more than 18 hours in a row. A full day of electricity would make me feel like a queen. Who can I vote for to make that happen? O’Shaughnessy? Does your wife have any pull? I voted for her yesterday. AmazonMidwife? Do they not let your genius husband play with the ‘lectric over there at the AEP? One thing is clear: I have too many digital clocks. If I have to spend 30 minutes every day resetting digital clocks, I’m going to need reimbursement. Hardship.

In other news, there was a debate and everybody on CNN was saying Obama won last night, so what can I say? Yay, Obama. I thought he won, too, but I might be a little bit biased. The old one makes me tired. And afraid. Also, I already voted, so now I’ve lost interest. Kidding! I don’t know what the pundits are saying this morning because I haven’t had electricity all morning. I’m at the library right now while Lena and Liberty are helping out in Maya’s short gymnastics class, so my time is limited. I’m going to hit my Google Reader now.

Related posts

Where’s the Outrage, Michigan?

First, yes, there was a debate and Sarah Palin said words like “doggone” and “you betcha.” I want my VP to be smarter than I am. Biden kept his cool even when Palin repeatedly said nothing. Good for him. Palin was less stupid than she usually is. Good for her. Still, Bush is very “dadgum” and “yeehaw” so I think I want to go with a little smarter ticket this time. Check my Shared Items over on the right and I will show you some good post-debate blog posts, if that’s what your interested in.

Anyway, Michigan, are you pissed that McCain just frickin’ abandoned you? I’m inexplicably upset about this. Michigan has no rich people or something so he’s not wasting his time there?

As in national polling, it appears to be Obama’s edge on handling the economy that has propelled him to the top of the polls in Michigan. In the Free Press poll, Obama held a 15-point lead over McCain on fixing problems with the national economy, and he had an even bigger, 20-point edge on the question of which candidate is “more likely to fight
for the concerns most important to you and your family.”

I’ve never agreed with a statement more. I think this is what it comes down to for me with Obama: he takes my concerns seriously. My concerns about paying for gas and groceries and college and a house and speech therapy. I just think Obama knows that we’re struggling here in the middle class, while McCain really has no idea. Does McCain even know anybody in the middle class? Does he know anybody who has had to choose between saving for retirement or going to college or paying for speech therapy or buying a house? Oh my God, I just started crying when I typed that sentence. I think I’ve found my true feelings about this election. I’m not really an economics type of girl; I tend to want to talk about race and gender and civil rights issues, but man, this economy bullshit is kind of a big deal. We’re working really hard. My husband has a bachelor’s degree in accounting and a job with a major financial institution. I sometimes get paid to write stuff. We don’t have credit card debt. We don’t have a mortgage that we can’t afford. We don’t have a car payment. We budget a small amount each week for “spending money” and we go to the dollar theater and Subway for fun.  And still we have to choose between several extremely important, quality-of-life things: speech therapy for our daughter, retirement, higher education, and a home. We’re paying for Maya’s speech therapy out of our ever-shrinking 401(k). I dropped out of school because we can’t afford to pay for it without student loans, and my post-college liberal arts job wouldn’t pay me enough to make it possible for me to pay off my loans. Maya’s speech has come a long way, but when we first got her evaluated last year, it was noted that she had a “moderate to severe” speech delay with motor planning issues involved. That sounds worthy of treatment, no? Our $12,000/year health insurance did not agree that it was worthy of treatment. I don’t know, I think basic communication skills are kind of helpful in life, but apparently because she’s able to chew and swallow her food, she does not qualify for health care coverage in this case. Do you want to know how much it costs? I’ll tell you: $58/week for a half-hour each week. Impossible. We have no debt, and still it’s impossible. Why is that? Gas and groceries maybe. The extra-curriculars that we pay for for our homeschooled kids are bargain-basement low-income rec. center prices. Some of them cost $5, none cost more than $25. We are not living high on the hog. We do everything on the cheap. I think the only “luxury” we have is cable and we were even going to get rid of that last year to save some money, but we decided that our homeschool needs make high-speed internet a basic necessity and it’s cheaper to get the internet/cable bundle. For “vacation” we visit our family and stay with them. We live on a budget. Every penny is budgeted. And Obama knows it. That’s exactly why he’s winning Michigan and that’s exactly why he should win this election. It makes me so upset that McCain won’t fight for Michigan because I think that means McCain knows he can’t help Michigan and we should all take that as a sign that he will not be able to help all of the people across the nation who are in the same boat as Michigan.

Related posts

I’m Trying, Really.

I consider myself to be a person of varied interests, but I just don’t care about anything else right now. What could I possibly write about with this election stuff going on?  I didn’t call McCain a chicken. I didn’t make fun of Palin’s interview with Katie Couric (”I’ll try to find ya some and I’ll ‘em to ya!” WTF?) and I didn’t even mention the debates. It was hard, but I restrained myself. See my “Shared Items” over there in my sidebar? I’m even really super trying hard to share items that are not political (FAIL!) I really want to, but I just can’t. Even Kids Know Stuff is getting in on the political posts today.

Luckily, I saw the pic below at Racialicious so I headed over to PunditKitchen to see what else they had to choose from so I could still be political without actually writing a post about how unqualified Sarah Palin is or how awesome Obama is or how old McCain is or how racist America is. I thought I would find another pic just as good as the one posted at Racialicious, but I decided this one was my favorite. So I copied. It’s ok though because most of you don’t click on my shared items anyway, so here it is again, in honor of the post-debate poll bump.

political-pictures-barack-obama-chill-out-got-this

Now I’m going to do yoga and go thrifting and get on with the rest of my life. Maybe.

Related posts

White Privilege Defined For Whiteys

This might be offensive, but only to racist white people who think they’re not racist. (Haha, I just made it so if you flame me in the comments, that means you admit that you’re a racist white person who doesn’t even know he’s racist. Haha, You can’t win!)

First, I can say “whitey,” right? Cuz I’m super white with only white friends in a mostly white community. That’s how I know it’s sometimes difficult to understand white privilege and “benign” racism without reading about it on the internet, so I can say “whitey.” Right? Oh, don’t worry, our white privilege makes racial slurs against us impossible, so you shouldn’t be offended anyway. For real. We’re super privileged, you and me. (Oh, look, I just used an objective pronoun where I should have used a subjective pronoun, but nobody will call me a dumb whitey. It’s cuz I’m super privileged. Whee!)

Ok, so I was reading around Dawn’s Shared Items and found an article that I wanted to share with my (probably 100% white?) readers who probably have mostly white friends and live in mostly white communities. And because I keep hearing from people who are in their 30s, just like me, who really think racism doesn’t exist, or who say with a pout that if McCain wins, “it’ll be blamed on the fact that we’re a country of racists, but we’re not! *sniffle* We just want 4 more years of the same shit, I promise!” Uh-huh. Nobody wants another 4 years of the same shit and there are not enough evangelical Christians to vote for McCain while praying for his death to make a difference in the election. And I think there might not even be enough full-on racists to vote McCain into office. But, I fear, there may be enough people who don’t know that they’re voting for McCain because he’s a big ol’ Whitey McWhiterson, and these people will make the stupid, stupid difference in this election, effectively changing their benign racism into super malignant racism. So, this article is for the people who think they’re not racist, but are voting for McCain based on nothing. Because, are you seriously afraid Obama will give us socialized healthcare and that’s why you’re voting for McCain? Please! He’s going to be so busy cleaning up other Republican messes that he’s not going to be able to do that. At least until his 2nd term.

An excerpt or two or five (they were all so good, and I’m afraid you won’t click over there, so I had to give you five. Go there and read the rest. And then repent of your racism and vote for Obama because he’s the better candidate. Resist racism! Especially racism that thinks it isn’t racism, but it so totally is because, Why Would You Vote For McCain?!?)

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you’re black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

Read the whole thing.

Also, this is good:

Suppose you are a hiring manager and have four young candidates to choose from to work in your business. The job involves managing a diverse group of people, having a basic knowledge of economics, politics, foreign relations, education, law, and government. You need someone who is a team-player, is decisive, and has a “get the job done” attitude.
Looking at these four educational resumes*, without knowing their race or their gender, who would you give an interview to?

Seriously, click that link and look at their educational resumes. You wouldn’t even consider Palin and McCain for an interview. LOOK! I’m not lying.

Related posts

I Don’t Know What CNN is Talking About

Everybody just calm down! Sometimes Wonkette is just silly, but lots of times, they’re really smart. Like this. I was going to look for something like that today, but it was already in my Google Reader this morning. Yay! Too lazy to click over? Oh, it’s just an electoral map that’s very comforting to people like me after watching CNN freak out about the McCain/Palin bump in the polls. I guess they have to freak out about something. It can’t all be sunshine and puppy kisses. Who would watch that? I would, that’s who. I love sunshine! Puppy kisses are ok if the puppy doesn’t have puppy breath. (Sorry Kathi D. I know I just risked losing you as a reader. Please don’t leave me! I love watching puppies kiss other people, I swear.)

Hm, I wish for your sake that I had something else to tell you. Oh, I know: If you know any preschoolers and you want to try to buy their affection with material things, head over to Kids Know Stuff to win a free dvd of Jim Henson’s The Blue Elephant. That way, you don’t even have to buy anything in order to win the preschooler’s affection. Win-win! Just like the election.

Related posts

Consumed

Apparently, I’m consumed with this whole politics thing, as if it mattered a bunch to me or something. I tried to blog about how I made an ass out of myself by spilling red wine on my n1pple at a euchre party with Bryan’s co-workers, but then I read that Sarah Palin is a HUGE racist and I got distracted. She said “Sambo beat the bitch,” when talking about Obama and Hillary. Seriously, go read that shit and then tell me you’re voting for McCain. And then I will tell you you’re dumb. Here’s just a little snippet:

Besides insulting Obama with a Step-N’-Fetch-It, “darkie musical” swipe, people who know her say she refers regularly to Alaska’s Aboriginal people as “Arctic Arabs” – how efficient, lumping two apparently undesirable groups into one ugly description – as well as the more colourful “mukluks” along with the totally unimaginative “f**king Eskimo’s,” according to a number of Alaskans and Wasillians interviewed for this article.

Oh, and hey, there’s a giveaway going on over at Kids Know Stuff. Unless you’re a racist McCain supporter, then you’re disqualified.

Related posts