Posts tagged sick
Undead
7You guys, that was a bad flu. I think it was the H1N1, according to a chart that Kristen sent me, but we don’t have confirmation because we didn’t go to the doctor because there’s nothing they could do for us anyway, thanks to the fact the Liberty already has her very own handy-dandy nebulizer for breathing treatments, and the rest of us just needed ibuprofen. Lots and lots of ibuprofen. The ibuprofen was my best friend ever in the whole world. The ibuprofen took the pain and chills and heat away. I will name my next baby “ibuprofen.”
I couldn’t even watch tv, read, play with the internet, or eat very much. I had 3 review books just sitting here waiting for me to read them, but I couldn’t even lift them, let alone focus my eyes and then also think about what I was reading in order to write a coherent review. It was an extremely unproductive, painful illness. It was one of those where you find yourself re-thinking your last will and testament. I didn’t really like it much at all. After the sickness part was over, there was this extreme exhaustion that we just couldn’t shake. I took at least 1 nap every day for 10 days. I haven’t done that since having babies and toddlers. I miss napping with babies and toddlers. That was fun. Falling over half-dead because you moved around a little bit earlier in the day was not fun.
I was too wiped out to run the 1/2 marathon. I told myself the night before that I wouldn’t be running so I might as well just go to sleep, but that didn’t work because my nervous brain knew I was going to try to run it, so I had my traditional no-sleep-the-night-before-the-race, which is the thing I hate the most about races. The next morning, I was very weak after putting my d-tag on my shoe and pinning my bib number to my shirt so I said, “You know what? You’re dumb if you think you’re going to run this race,” and threw in the towel. But I did have enough adrenaline/drugs in order to go watch my sister complete her very first 1/2 and she did great! She kicks so much more ass than I do because she didn’t just run the 1/2, take a shower, and then sit around in stretchy pants all week. She ran the 1/2, took a shower, did her hair, put on make-up, and put on JEANS. Now Bryan is going to expect more than my usual post-race week of sloth if I ever run another one. *sigh*
I did really enjoy watching and yelling, “Lookin’ good, runners!” and stuff like that. That is, until Bryan and my niece and nephew got there and started making fun of me for cheering. Meanies. I think they were just jealous because nobody ever cheers for their lazy asses.
It was a too-short visit, but I’m glad they came. I didn’t really have my appetite, but when I think about all of the things we ate, it seems funny to say I didn’t have my appetite. I eat a lot of food and I get sad when I can’t eat a lot of food. Also, my mom visited for a whole week and she’s all about the eating out and feeding us snacks. I couldn’t even enjoy it and now I’m hungry. And sad.
As usual, this flu hit Liberty the hardest. She has lung issues and if we didn’t already own a nebulizer, we would’ve gone to the hospital. Last night was the first night she didn’t need a pre-bed breathing treatment, and I’m sure she’s over it. Nevertheless, I will leave the nebulizer, her meds, and all of the little attachments for the nebulizer out all over the house for another 2 weeks or so because I always feel like if I put it away too soon, she’ll relapse. God hates it when I feel confident, so if I put it away, he’ll zap her, I just know it.
Neil Gaiman is a Powerful Man
6Don’t ever invoke the name of Neil Gaiman when making wishes. Especially in October.
Minutes after I tweeted this:
Is it wrong to wish for H1N1 so I have time to watch @neilhimself read The Graveyard Book in it its entirety? http://www.mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx
I felt a little tickle in my throat. I immediately began mainlining Echinacea and snorting Vitamin C, which is what I usually do when I feel even the slightest hint of a virus coming on. I also began to regret my tweet. Why didn’t I just say, “Huh, it’s October and I homeschool. What better way to enjoy afternoon story time than with a creepy book read to us by Neil frickin’ Gaiman?” Why didn’t I say that? Why did I see that link and immediately wish I had several blocks of uninterrupted time to enjoy it all by myself? It is, after all, a children’s book. Or young adult or whatever. At any rate, my children have all heard the audio version already. Why didn’t I choose my tweet more carefully?
I started my Echinacea/Vitamin C regimen Saturday night, but my cough grew steadily worse. This morning, I have a cough and a fever, and an unnatural urge to find a spider and get it to tell me that I’m not sick because now I really believe about Spider from Anansi Boys. But probably Spider would complicate things further. Wouldn’t he, Neil Gaiman? You bet your black leather jacket he would.
I’m still on the herbs, but I’m no hippie. I’m also taking ibuprofen because I don’t like to suffer. I don’t like fever and lethargy and pain. I don’t like to be hungry, thirsty, or sad. So taking medicine is just like eating when I’m hungry, drinking when I’m thirsty, getting drunk when I’m sad. Kidding! When I’m sad, I watch Metalocalypse.
Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson and we need no longer muck about like this, Neil Gaiman. (See how I used a British phrase there? It shows I’m sincere. I could just as easily have said, “mess around” or my favorite, “dick around,” but I didn’t.)
P.S. Is it wrong to wish for $1,000,000 so I have time to watch @neilhimself read The Graveyard Book in its entirety? http://www.mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx
I’m a Comma, That’s Why I Ramble!
0I’m a comma with nothing to blog about, but Jill Twittered that she’s a colon and I had to see what kind of punctuation I am. I’ve always wondered. And now I know.
Let’s see…happy Martin Luther King day, my kids are sick, the CPSCIA is dumb, and Obama is almost president.
I always ruin MLK day for my kids by making them watch the I Have a Dream speech and making them read things on Anti-Racist Parent and Racialicious until they rend their garments in despair over their white privilege. It’s a tradition.
Everybody here is coughing their heads off. Me? I’m taking Eleventy billion milligrams of vitamin C and eating garlic by the bulb. I smell bad. I know this because I smell well. Get it? Grammar. Good times.
Speaking of words, have you seen this bull? The Consumer Product Safety Improvement for Dumbasses Act is trying to get rid of everything, everything! for children under 12 that might have lead in it. Hello Small Business Owner, you say you don’t have the money to test your handmade, naturally lead-free products so that we know for sure, for sure that they’re lead free? Too bad for you. Close your store you filthy child poisoner. And libraries? You’re the poisony-est and you shan’t let the children touch the filth.
And tomorrow we get a fresh and fancy new president. If you’re Facebook friends with my sister, go support her support of Barack Obama because some douche from her church hassled her about it and I’ve advised her not to hassle back because, well, there are a lot of douches in her church. Personally, I believe Christian douches are the worst of all kinds of douches. And I’m including Muslim douches and vinegar douches in that. Just so you know.
Oh, hey, look, I’m a comma:
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![]() You are open minded and extremely optimistic. You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything. You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests. You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time. Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to. (But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.) You excel in: Inspiring people You get along best with: The Question Mark |
Sizzle.
5Liberty still has a fever. She usually lingers quite a while, but she hasn’t had this kind of episode in over 2 years. There was a time when every little cold sent her into the hospital with bacterial pneumonia. Mucous settles in her lungs like carnies in a public park during state fair time. And even when the hospitalizations stopped, there was always, always the high, long fever and the nebulizer. And the cough. Holy shit, the cough. On a normal day, if Liberty so much as clears her throat in the grocery store, old women will come from far and wide to diagnose her with croup and shame me for bringing her out into daylight. Or at least give me a dirty look. But when she has a little mucous to contend with? She sounds like a werewolf choking on a femur. You know, kind of barky in a supernatural, murderous way.
Everybody else is all better and I was hoping Liberty would be better by today so we could go to the homeschool park day tomorrow, but it’s not looking good. If I accidentally stab myself in the eye with a citrus peeler, don’t be surprised.
Plays to Win
6And gets very giddy when she’s about to lay a Draw Four on your sorry ass. I know you can’t hear it, but she’s giggling like one of those viral video giggling baby things. This child is never happier than when she’s causing an opponent emotional pain during a heated game of Uno. Even if she doesn’t win, it’s enough that she made you draw, or skipped you, or reversed it away from you. And then you will hear about it for the rest of the day. “Remember when I skipped you? That was a good play! You couldn’t even go!” And when the tables turn, and you think you’re getting one up on her by giving her a Draw Two, she says, “OK, but you have to smell my feet!” She will punish you. She will punish you so hard.
Lena and Liberty and Bryan are all sick sickies today. Send patience. And listen to Handlebars by Flobots. Yummy for your brain.



