Posts tagged politics

I Love Taxes!

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I assume Obama's doing a good job since the biggest douchebags in the country think he's doing a bad job

I’m over at Ohio Moms Blog today. Check it. I say this in it:

Do you know why I love taxes? I love taxes because I can pay them and then I can use the things that the taxes pay for! Schools, emergency services, old people stuff, libraries, parks, it’s all MINE!

Mmmm…Butter

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Wow, we watched so much C-Span last night! It felt like C-Span anyway. I tried to force my kids to watch it and educate themselves, you know, in order to be armed with knowledge against the commie regime, but they were like, “Uh, I need to make a Woogi World video,” and I said, “Fine, it’s a free country.” FOR NOW!

My favorite part was the verbal voting. Congress would shout “yay” or “nay” and the Speaker would just say, “The ayes have it,” and then everybody would be like, “WTF? Count it for real, Douche!” Oh, I loved that every time. It was teh awesome.

I’m going to celebrate by giving myself a heart attack by eating this stick of butter that I have right here. You know, since all you suckers are paying for my health care now, I want to get as sick as I can! They warned you this would happen!

No, seriously, let’s celebrate by watching this. I think this will be the 3rd time I post this on my blog, which is more often than I’ve posted about my crazy grandma. Suck it up.

Tired of Politics? Pass the Time by Winning a Book!

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I know you’re tired of politics, but too bad! One more day!

In the meantime, go sign up for the giveaway at Kids Know Stuff. I’m sure there are kids in your life that you don’t really like, but you have to buy something for for whatever winter holiday you celebrate, right? Perfect! Win something and then you don’t have to waste your money. I’ll never tell! All you have to do is leave a comment on this post telling the kids what your favorite children’s book is and you could win The Bill Martin Jr. Big Book of Poetry. You can even have your kids leave a comment, too.

By the way, my husband got to the polls (at Overbrook church for you locals) this morning at 6:15 and didn’t get out of there until 7:10. I voted weeks ago and couldn’t convince him that the lines would be horrible. I’ll be gloating some.

What Happened to Me?

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I loved that debate! I love it when the camera stays on McCain’s face when Obama’s talking and he makes all of his weird faces. It would be hard watching that as an undecided voter. In order to really focus on the issues, I would have to listen to it with no picture. Anyway…

Dawn asked me what happened to make me change from a conservative to a liberal and this article about William F. Buckley’s son, Christopher, and his endorsement of Barack Obama and subsequent resignation from the National Review has me thinking even more.

The short answer that I gave Dawn was something like, “I have higher self-esteem now,” and I’d really like to think it’s something deep like that, but, really, I think Bryan hit the nail on the head when I asked him what he thinks changed and he said, “Well, you’re old now.”

He’s right. It’s oldness. It manifests itself in a couple of different ways, but it’s oldness. I never really cared about politics before, but now I do because I’m old and I have old-people interests. Like politics. And when I started looking at the issues, as old people are wont to do, I became a liberal.

I used to just vote for the candidate that my dad and my pastor voted for. You know, because I have those issues. What if I died and God was all, “So. ‘Abby’ is it? Is that what you go by down there? Says here you voted for Kerry in ’04, is that right? Even after you saw those unfortunate wind-surfing pictures? I’m sorry, but Jesus’ blood doesn’t cover that sin.” And I’d stammer and blush and cry and it would just be a terrible way to begin my afterlife. And don’t get me started about my dad. You can actually feel the heart attack coming when we talk politics, which I do not ever bring up with him.

Mostly, though, the oldness manifests itself in ways that have more to do with boring things like worrying about money thingies. We have more education, but less money than we did 8 years ago. And that shit just ain’t right.

And my views on God have changed, too. I think Jesus is a liberal. That thought used to be way in the back of my head, way back when I worked at the Christian bookstore and those WWJD bracelets were invented. Oh, you didn’t know I used to work at a Christian bookstore? Yes, I did. For years. In fact, I used to go to a Pentecostal Christian church. It was my innoculation against everything that went wrong in my parents’ lives. I was the perfect receptacle for the “God-shaped hole” speech. Except, pentecostalism is kind of weird never quite fit. A lot of pentecostals believe that if you don’t speak in tongues, God doesn’t hear your prayers. That never came from the pulpit (my pastor was amazing, exceptional even; he didn’t even have a pulpit because that’s how hip he was), but it did come from people in the church. That, and the whole what-sin-have-you-not-confessed-that-gave-your-baby-a-birth-defect issue. Anyway, I’ve never spoken in tongues and, in fact, I was always quite perplexed and distracted by it when it happened in my presence. It’s very distracting. Seriously, go youtube it and tell me you can get your prayer on with people doing that around you. Maybe it was just the devil distracting me. I don’t think so, though, because usually when the devil wants to distract me he uses p0rn. And booze.

I also went to a regular old kind of church. And that was ok for a while, but then we moved and, well, I don’t really like going to church all that much. It’s because of all of my filthy sin. Oh, and the people. I’m not very comfortable around church people. When I was a brand-new Christian, excited about this fancy easy-peasy protection against all of the evil in the world, I thought I would like Christian people, but that was because I didn’t know any. Here’s how naive I was: Shortly after hearing the “God-shaped hole” speech, I got a job at a Christian bookstore and expressed to my manager something along the lines of, “Oh my goodness, it must be so awesome working with Christians and…and…waiting on Christians, and well golly, it just must be a swell work environment.” I may not remember exactly what I said, but I’ll never forget the look on that manager’s face as he slowly put his cap on his pen, pushed his glasses up his nose, sighed, looked me in the eye and said, “Let me tell you something about Christians. They’re just people.” He shook his head slowly, rubbed his temples and said, “They’re all just human people.” And I thought, “Yeah, really swell human people!”

Anyway, I was a conservative and now I’m not. It’s because I’m old and because of cults. Or Jesus. Or the unchurched. Or the undead. Or the unpaid. I can’t remember where I was going with this, but I think I mean to say that people just change. And I have no pocket change. And now I’m voting for change. The end.

Oh, Bother. Another Political Post. But It’s Short!

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Just posting this Momocrats post over here because some people want to say that McCain supports the military and Obama doesn’t. Here is the post. And here is an excerpt (because I know how clicking is a drag). In case you can’t tell, the author is talking to Cindy McCain. I don’t know why the author even bothered. I’m pretty sure Cindy’s brand of FemBot is not programmed to listen to such things as facts and reason. I don’t know, though, these “veterans” groups sound like a bunch of hippie liberals. It’s probably just more propaganda. Whatevs.

The Disabled American Veterans give your husband, Senator McCain, the man you claim supports the troops and veterans, only a 20% rating. Senator Obama gets an 80% rating. The Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America just released their 2008 Congressional ratings and gave John McCain a D. Barack Obama got a B. Now I know John McCain is used to getting D’s, I mean he had to have gotten quite a few to have graduated at nearly the bottom of his Naval Academy class. But D’s aren’t acceptable when it comes to men and women who give their lives serving in our military.

P.S. Barack Obama is coming to Columbus on Friday. If you go, maybe I’ll see you. I’ll be the one shouting and crying about my whole “choosing between saving for retirement or going to college or paying for speech therapy or buying a house” issue. All day long. Every time there’s a break in applause. Maybe you’ll see me get arrested on tv.

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