Sundays with Stretchy Pants

ETA: By good I mean, well, a decent enough Christian. Mostly, though, it’s cool Muslims in the video (why are they at a McCain rally? I don’t know. Free country, I guess). I wrote the title like that because I’m always all down on the Xtians (they hate when you put an “X” there. They hate it when you do it to XMas, too, because what if Jesus is that small that it makes him go away when you abbreviate the Christ out of everything?) and I thought you’d be surprised that I used the words “good” and “Christian” together. Surprise!

Maya watches the Mr. Roboto video more times per day than necessary. And she sings along. I blame my brother. Maybe he didn’t introduce her to Styx, but some of our shared (obviously mutant) genes must have been lying dormant within me and I inadvertently passed them on to my precious baby. Too bad there’s not a pre-natal screen for that. At least we would have been prepared and we could’ve tried to keep the gene from becoming active. My theory is that Maya’s mutant Styx gene would have remained dormant if she hadn’t been next to me listening to her uncle’s voice on the phone the other day. Obviously, it’s an auditorily-activated gene. Sick.

In other news, more of this needs to happen:
Muslim McCain Fans Confront Intolerance at Rally

I made some calls for Obama again last night and it was brutal. People aren’t supposed to answer their phones at this point in the election. They’re supposed to be so sick of getting calls that when they see the caller ID pop up with a number they don’t recognize, they’re supposed to mutter, “Dadgum political calls!” and walk away. How else can people like me feel like we’re helping the campaign without really doing anything? I love leaving messages and stuff, but I’m not so good with the talking to strangers.

I don’t want to discourage people from volunteering, but last night was hard. The first time I did it, I talked to about 7 people out of almost 70. Last night, almost half of my 48 calls were answered. By grumpy people. There were some bright spots, but my very first call started with, “That bastard isn’t getting my vote!” which I thought was rude even for a McCain supporter. Some of the people who answered just wanted to keep their vote private, which I understand so we just chatted a little bit, and I tried to suck up to them and make rainbows and unicorns travel through the phone lines, but I don’t know if that works when I’m calling from a cell phone. (By the way, Lena drew a picture yesterday and the caption was, “I HATE UNICORNS!” Is this the beginning of the slippery slope to being goth?) Sometimes I found myself randomly shouting, “COLIN POWELL!” which would make the person kind of stutter and say, “Uh, yeah, he’s a…he’s a real good guy…and I respect him a lot,” and then I would try to convince them that if Colin Powell says so, we should vote for Obama. But most of the people I talked to claimed to be undecided. And when I was talking to those people, I really wished I hadn’t seen this clip from The Daily Show because I really felt like saying the things that Samantha Bee and Jason Jones start saying at about 2:30 in this video:

Kidding! Obama is totally not a terrorist. For realz! And, well, I probably didn’t actually pal around with him anyway. But I did go to an Obama rally with AmazonMidwife and her kids. We volunteered and it was fun. Dawn watched my kids because she rocks and because the children have been to two rallies and worked at one Campaign for Change headquarters and they’ve, frankly, had enough. Lena said she had mixed feelings about missing the rally, but she really wanted to hang out with Noah. Terrorist.

I saw the anti-classy anti-choice abortion van drive around and around the rally. With a great big picture of an aborted fetus on it. That was gross. And not classy at all. And super gross. It made me go, “Huh. That’s gross. And manipulative.” And then I wondered why we don’t go around bombing abortion vans and anti-choice protestors. And then I remembered it’s because we know that we can look at that van and go, “Ew, gross,” and then we can choose to look away instead of throwing rocks at it. Because nobody is forcing us to look. See how awesome it is to have a choice? It, like, makes the hate go away. Anyway, proof I was there (not much proof, since my camera’s batteries died):

As usual, Obama was totally classy. You know what else is classy? This:

On Friday during a town hall-style meeting in Lakeville, Minn., a supporter told McCain that he feared what would happen if Obama were elected. McCain drew boos when he defended his rival as a “decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States.”
In another exchange, a woman told McCain that she didn’t trust Obama because “he’s an Arab.” Shaking his head and taking the microphone from her, McCain replied: “No, ma’am. He’s a decent, family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign is all about.”

Now if he could just put some ads on that have less to do with fear-mongering and more to do with those issues, he might still lose this race, but at least his credibility will remain intact.

Oh, they’re not drunk? Well, then you all better get out there and vote cuz there’s some crazy misinformed bigots people out there fixin’ to pick our next president.

I want my power to stay on for more than 18 hours in a row. A full day of electricity would make me feel like a queen. Who can I vote for to make that happen? O’Shaughnessy? Does your wife have any pull? I voted for her yesterday. AmazonMidwife? Do they not let your genius husband play with the ‘lectric over there at the AEP? One thing is clear: I have too many digital clocks. If I have to spend 30 minutes every day resetting digital clocks, I’m going to need reimbursement. Hardship.

In other news, there was a debate and everybody on CNN was saying Obama won last night, so what can I say? Yay, Obama. I thought he won, too, but I might be a little bit biased. The old one makes me tired. And afraid. Also, I already voted, so now I’ve lost interest. Kidding! I don’t know what the pundits are saying this morning because I haven’t had electricity all morning. I’m at the library right now while Lena and Liberty are helping out in Maya’s short gymnastics class, so my time is limited. I’m going to hit my Google Reader now.