It's like Tuesdays with Morrie without all the wisdom
Posts tagged Lena
Feckless Friday: New Year’s Resolutions Edition
4January 1, 2010
by Abby
in I am feckless
How convenient that New Year’s Day is on a Friday! Last year, my resolutions looked like this:
1. More books
2. More movies
3. More writing
4. More cowbell
And by January 5th, I was Already Failing.
This year, for sure I’m going to eat more hot fudge sundaes with bananas (Hot Fudge Banana Royal for those of you grew up eating them at the Malt Shop or Frosty’s in Chesaning). It’s a New Year’s Eve tradition and I love them so much, you guys. They’re so tasty. So definitely more of that. Maybe more writing. I read the fewest amount of books ever in my life last year, I think. That’s probably because of the DVR, which I love a lot, so I’m not changing that.
I’m happy with the amount of alcohol I drank last year, so no changes there.
How about parenting? Any parenting goals? Well, it might be helpful if I pay closer attention to Maya’s education. On the other hand, it’s always a nice surprise for me when I read over her shoulder while she’s playing on Woogi World to see that she’s learned to read and write new words. I kind of like that. Besides, it’s easy for homeschooling to become a little bit “Toddlers and Tiaras” without the spray tans and dental implants, but with the “DO IT!” and “PRACTICE!” and “PERFORM!” which is ugly on anybody and so not helpful for well-roundedness.
As for Lena and Liberty, I’m going to start referring to them as “the twins” because it’s easier and they love it when I do that. Both of them love it equally. Because they’re twins. They’ve outgrown me, technologically speaking, but I’m not going to resolve to catch up to them because it would be too hard. I’ll for sure make sure they don’t get kidnapped by the internet, though. For sure.
Ok, so to sum up,
1. More Hot Fudge Banana Royals
2. The same amount of alcohol
3. Even less homeschooling pressure
4. “Leenaaaa, my computer’s frozen again!”
Thankful
7November 26, 2009
For lazy, loungy holidays and the people I get to share them with in real life, on the phone, and on the internet. I love my people.
I had a better quality picture, but I love that it’s almost noon and they’re in their jammies, lounging all over each other, playing pretend together. I should probably get in the shower. I know everybody at dinner will be thankful for that.
Feckless Friday: Beer Song Edition
3September 18, 2009
by Abby
in I am feckless
You know that precious muscial called The Sound of Music? Well, it’s a real crowd pleaser (assuming I’m not in the crowd) and there’s this song in it called “Do-Re-Mi,” which my children were trying to sing a while ago. And then when they asked me how a certain part goes, I might have accidentally taught them the equally classic and crowd-pleasing song “Dos-Ray-Me.”
Dos, a beer, a Mexican beer
Ray, the guy who buys me beer
Me, the guy Ray buys beer for
Far, a long way to the bar
So, I think I’ll have a beer
La, A la-la-lots of beer
Tea, No thanks, I’ll have a beer
Or something like that. I’m not clear on the details, but it’s much more entertaining (and, frankly, it makes more sense) than that other song. Until you hear your 10 year old singing it. To be fair, I didn’t set out to teach them the song. When Maya asked about “Do-Re-Mi,” we were in the car and after singing that, I giggled. I said to Bryan, “Remember that beer song?” and then we both giggled and Lena (I think it was Lena, though it could have been Liberty. It’s hard to keep these things straight. It was a 10-year-old girl hollering from the backseat) asked, “How does the beer song go, Mummy?” And, at first, I said, “Well, Precious, beer songs are only for those 21 and older. I’ll not sully your soul by singing it. Merely hearing the song might make you want to drink a-la-la-lots of beer.”* To which Lena (or Liberty) replied, “Oh, thank you, Mummy. Thank you for always keeping me pure.”
But then I sang it anyway because it’s funny.
This is my Feckless Friday post. You know you want to play along.
*What do you mean “that doesn’t sound like something you’d say”? You don’t know me!**
**Fine, none of that ever happened. I just sang it right away. FINE!
Don’t be a Jon Gosselin
10September 10, 2009
by Abby
in I have some daughters
Dear Doormats and Doormat Users,
Let Jon Gosselin’s story be a lesson to you: The way your relationship works right now will not last forever. Doormat, someday you will realize that you are a fully-formed person with your very own thoughts, needs, opinions, likes, and dislikes, and if your mate is used to wiping her feet on you, she will have a hard time with this realization and, if you don’t both go to therapy, you (the brand-new fully-formed person) will back down from communicating your brand-new needs and act out in unhealthy ways. Even if your opinions are wrong, it’s ok to have them. For example, say you’re a 32-year-old man and you have the opinion that diamond earrings in both ears looks good. That would be a wrong opinion, but go ahead and rock those earrings, no matter what. They’re not hurting anybody and your wife could just do everyone a favor and not tell you you look stupid constantly because, guess what, they are your stupid earrings and it’s your stupid head. And maybe you would have grown out of it by the time you were, oh, around 22 if you had the wherewithal to have your own opinions about earrings back then instead of just changing yourself all up in order to fit the “love” of your life’s ideas of what’s good and what’s not.
And Doormat Users, when your Doormat comes to you and starts having these opinions and whatever, just shut the ef up ok? If you’re having a super hard time with all of the human-like behavior that your Doormat is suddenly exhibiting, you best get your butt to therapy.
And Doormat, if your User is having a hard time with your human-like behavior and you feel like throwing your hands in the air in disgust and just shutting down again and acting out in childish ways, you best get your butt to therapy. Because, guess what, I know you think you’re in love with your rebound girl and everything, but you’re not. Anyone would seem awesome after what you were dealing with before, but if your marriage is can’t be saved, what you really need is time alone. Figure out who you really are. Maybe you don’t even think diamond earrings in both ears is a great idea, but your brand-new awesome “love” of your life does and it feels good to do what she wants you to do right now because, well, it feels sooooo good and she’s not shrieking at you in the Wal-Mart. But that’s still pretty Doormatty behavior, and we all know where that will lead. It might take 15 years, but it will lead to the same place. Let’s take some time and learn some lessons, shall we? Just because your marriage is over, doesn’t mean you’re done with therapy.
Sincerely,
Abby Aldrich
Daughter of a Doormat and Doormat User
Model of Qualities of Both for More Than 30 Years
Advocate for Change
Advocate for Acceptance of Change
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I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit that Bryan and I watched Jon Gosselin’s interview with Chris Cumo on ABC. We recorded it. And we watched it. On purpose. I’m not interested in the whole he said/she said thing. I’m not interested in his current relationship(s), I’m not interested in how he feels about Kate now or how he felt back then. I wanted to know if he’s been to therapy. I wanted to know if he realizes how he got to the point where he is now. He said he’s been to therapy, but Kate hasn’t, which I totally believe. But I don’t get the feeling that he understands how his personality also contributed to this. Sure, Kate’s a shrew, but there’s a reason she chose somebody like Jon. If Jon had been an actual person, maybe they never would have been together. But he wasn’t. He was clay in Kate’s hands and he “loved” her so he changed for her. And what we’re seeing now? That’s what always happens in these types of situations.
And, of course, I must bring it all back around to parenting. Lena and Liberty are naturally nice and lovely and they’ll do whatever you say and it’s very easy to take advantage of them. We have had to fight really hard to teach them to stand up for themselves even against us. They’re 10 now, and they’re getting better at it. But, in our society, we seem to value niceness above all else and that’s not right. Look where niceness got Jon Gosselin. When my kids and I are standing in line at the grocery store and they’re reading the headlines, I use Jon as an example to Lena and Liberty. I tell them that this is all happening because he didn’t know himself and he didn’t love himself enough to actually be himself in the beginning of his relationship with Kate. No relationship is worth just being a shell of a person.
Now, Maya seems more split down the middle of Jon and Kate, depending on lots of things. If she were a little bit older, I might use Kate as an example and tell her that this is all happening because of the Jon thing, but also because Kate doesn’t understand the value of being in a relationship with somebody who is more than a shell. I don’t know. I think it’s easier to teach a young Kate to lay off than it is to teach a young Jon to stand up for himself. A touch of, “Kid, you better chill because your friend said ‘no’ and no means no,” is easier to teach than, “It’s ok to say no, if you want to say no. If so-and-so is sad because you said no, that’s ok. It’s ok if they’re sad, you are not responsible for their feelings. You’ll be sad if you say yes when you really want to say no. Don’t your feelings count? If your friend is a true friend, they’ll be sad but they’ll see that it’s ok for you to not do it and you can still be friends. If they don’t understand that, then it’s not worth sacrificing your comfort for theirs. And maybe they won’t understand at first, but they’ll eventually understand, blah, blah, blah.” Ugh, that’s a lot of words and, actually, there are more words that go to that speech that we’ve been using for the past 6 or so years over and over and in a million different situations, but if it means they learn to not be a Jon Gosselin, then I’ll keep repeating it.
P.S. Jon, you can use my above speech on Cara from time to time. That kid is heading for Ultimate Doormat status and it really breaks my heart when you talk about how much she loves sports. Maybe she does, but maybe she’s also learned that that’s what you love and you are her very first love and she sees how your eyes light up when you talk about how she loves sports and how good she is at everything. And she sees you roll your eyes when you talk about how Mady is just the opposite. Just think about it. You never know. I’m just sayin’.
P.P.S. Mady sees your eyes light up when you talk about Cara’s interests, and she sees you roll your eyes when you talk about hers. I’m just sayin’.
Old Man Cheezer and Maya’s First Blog Post
4July 16, 2009
We hired somebody to do the tile in the basement bathroom and Liberty has nick-named him “Old Man Cheezer.” I don’t know why. He is an old man, but he doesn’t smell like cheese and I’ve not seen him snacking on cheese.
Soon, when Old Man Cheezer’s work is done, our plumber (“Young Man Crackerz, with a ‘z’” says Lena) will be able to get in there and get that place toileted up. Then the big children won’t have to carry their tired tushies all the way upstairs and to the other side of the house in the wee hours of the morning when the tinkle fairy comes. They’re very sad and sleepy when that happens. Every morning I hear them dragging themselves up the stairs and through the house whimpering, “When is our bathroom gonna be dooooonnnnnne?” The poor babies. The worst part is, when Maya (whose bedroom is right next to the bathroom on the main level) hears the walking dead, she races to the bathroom and locks herself in there shouting, “I have to go peeeeeee! Really baaaaaad!” And then I imagine she silently cackles while Lena and/or Liberty stand outside the door yelling, “Hurry UP!” I told them the toilet would be in there this week. I lied. Old Man Cheezer is going out of town today and he won’t be back to finish his job until Monday. Then we’ll schedule Young Man Crackerz.
And now, Maya would like to tell you about this:
The water is super, super, super, super, super deep and nobody can touch. Moms and dads can’t touch. Big girls can’t touch. Teenagers can’t touch. Little girls can’t touch. Toddlers can’t touch. Babies can’t touch. There should be a baby diving board in the baby pool. <At this point, she switches to a commercial announcer voice> So come here and dive! It’s where the water slide is! And if you lay down on your back, you go super fast! And if you sit up, you go slow. So come here and dive off the little board and dive off the platform and dive off the medium board! So I want you to come here and diiiiiiive! It’s fun! And how you dive is you bend down and put your hands over your head together and make sure your hands go in first and then straighten your legs. Bye bye!
And she also wants to tell you about the water slide.
Hello, my name is Maya and I’m going to tell you about the water slide! Yay! The water slide is fun, you should come at the swimming pool and this is the same place where I talked about the diving board, so come here and go swimming! And you can do a bunch of stuff, but you can only go down on your butt on the water slide, so you have to come here and swim because <singing> it’s summer time, it’s summer time, and I love summer time! Now you sing it! The slide is swirly because it doesn’t go straight down because when you start going you go left, right, left, right, left, right, and at the end you’re in water. Right now come to the swimming pool! <singing> Boom boom, boom boom, boom boom. Bye bye!
