Sundays with Stretchy Pants

And yet I’ve lost a whole week since my last post. Huh.

Well, there was packing and then a trip for Kids Know Stuff. The kids and Kristen have to review the trip, but I don’t. I just pretended like I was Kate and used my precious twins for the free stuff they could get me. It was fairly satisfying. Part 1 of the kids’ review (Lincoln City, IN) is here, if you wanna know. Spoiler Alert! Abe Lincoln spent some time there as a young man. And there are several monuments so you can never, ever forget it.

Then I had to unpack and I got a new clothesline so I did all of my vacation laundry on my new clothesline. It smelled good, but it took a long time to dry. Stupid sun.

And then I vacuumed the basement.

And I might have cooked something and then cleaned it up. Aren’t you glad I skipped blogging for the week?

Tomorrow the kids and I will drive halfway up to Michigan to pick up my niece, Riley, for a nice long visit. Taylor isn’t coming for the long visit this year because she has a life. It happens. Cody never visits anymore, but I texted him and asked him if he would start visiting us again once he reached legal drinking age and he said, “duh,” so that’s something to look forward to. Riley’s still too young for a life. Except on Woogi World. Anyway, the kids have been squealing non-stop since before the trip and now they’re squealing again because Riley’s visiting. Thank god I didn’t finish all that tequila. That’s gonna come in handy.

Christmas isn’t all sadness and whining like I said yesterday. There are Christmas cookies! And if you have a Liberty in your house, there’s a child who reserves all kinds of cookbooks with the word chocolate or ice cream or treat in the title, and then picks out recipes and makes sure they’re not too complicated and then helps make them.

Oh, and there are free guitars. I know the guitars are ruined by having Disney crap splashed all over them, but they are Washburn guitars! (Shh! Don’t tell Disney I said they splashed crap all over the guitars. They’re always listening). And you could put stickers all over the word parts and then you’d have a really cool painted Washburn guitar with your own personal stickers for flair. Hannah Montana does not own purple sparkles. Does she? She might, I guess. I would put this sticker on mine:

It’s a classic because it’s true.

I wanted to play drums in middle school band class, but they wouldn’t let me because they had a rule that we had to know how to play the piano first. Dumb rule because, isn’t that what middle school band class is for? Learning? And Dabbling? How could I learn the stuff before band class? Assholes. I didn’t want to learn piano because, my god, the piano is so fine-motor skillish and I’m more of a gross-motor type. So I didn’t take band class, I took choir instead where I lip-synced and messed around and did drugs. Ok, I didn’t do drugs, but I could have and I would have been justified.

*sigh* We watched Girls Rock last night at the Wexner Center and I cried all through it because it was awesome. And then I yelled at Bryan because, well, he’s a boy and he didn’t even have to learn that he rocks. And it’s not fair! But then, Dawn’s Girls Rock post makes a good point about boys and their struggles and whatnot, so I guess I won’t yell at him today. For being a boy.

The movie inspired my girls to play the drums (Liberty), play guitar and drums (Lena), and play guitar and drums and sing (Maya). And Bryan and I were inspired to pay for stuff that would enable those endeavors. Finally, the girls are doing what they’re supposed to by living out my dreams so that I can live through them. Er, maybe it’s not supposed to be about me and my dreams? I can’t remember. The world is so confusing after seeing Girls Rock.

Anyway, Kids Know Stuff is giving away a Washburn guitar soon and now I wish we could win it. Except it’s kind of ruined because it has either Hannah Montana or Camp Rock paint splashed all over it. I’m sure a kid would like it, but whatever.

We’re going to the Wexner Center to watch two more movies today: Jump and Children of Heaven. I’m sure Jump will inspire a jump rope purchase. I just hope Children of Heaven doesn’t inspire me to make the children share one pair of shoes. I’m easily swayed by visual media.

I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving for lots of reasons, but my number one happy reason is because, after it’s all over, then I can stop screaming obscenities at my car radio every time I inadvertently come across one of the stations that plays all Christmas music, all the time. It started on November 1st and I’m too lazy to re-set my pre-sets, so I keep stumbling upon effing Christmas music. Since the day after Halloween. It’s not right. And I will stab somebody. I know I should be thinking about effing Christmas. I know I have to buy people stuff. I know, I know, I know. I don’t need stupid songs to remind me. Kids Know Stuff is backfiring for me because, while I’m getting good gift ideas for my kids, my kids already have the stuff because they had to review it. I should’ve thought this through a little better. It works out well for you, though, because you could win a bunch of cool DVDs from my kids. You’re so selfish. I would try to win them, too, but my kids already have them. I can’t even re-wrap them for Christmas because that might be a touch meaner than usual.

This Thanksgiving, I’ll be running the Turkey Trot 5-miler for the 3rd year in a row. This year is different, though, because Mechelle won’t be here (boo!), and my husband is running it with me (yay!) Bryan is a natural sprinter; he does not “try to kill himself” by running more than a few miles at a time at super-sonic speed. The one time he tried to run with me, he had to shorten up his stride so much in order to stay slow that he got injured. I’m slow and short, with no competitive edge, enabling me to run long(ish) distances without ever having a heart attack. He’s fast, tall, competitive, and generally has ants in his pants, so it’s hard for him to pace himself. This should be interesting. The best part is, I don’t have to use my endorphins as energy for cooking Thanksgiving dinner because Kristen is doing that! Isn’t she sweet? That means I’ll be able to use that energy high for things like drinking. And pouring drinks. Should be fun. Also, Kristen’s husband and son are running with Bryan and me. I hope they remember to wait for me when it’s over. And I hope Bryan doesn’t weep because he doesn’t come in first. The last time he ran races regularly, he usually came in first and colleges watched him and sent him letters promising money to him for the pleasure of enjoying his long, lean legs and his powerful stride. Or something like that. That’s him winning. *sigh*

I found this blog personality type analysis thingy at Wonkette, which is where I find everything of questionable value in my life. And since it must be your lucky day, I’m posting my results here for you along with the results for Kids Know Stuff.

The analysis indicates that the author of http://sundayswithstretchypants.com is of the type:

ESFP – The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead – they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

In case you’re wondering, and you don’t know me in real life, that is an actual picture of me. If you do know me in real life, it’s still an actual picture of me, it’s just the one that Bryan keeps in his head. For special occasions. And obviously, none of that analysis is true except for the part about it being hard for me to be in management positions. I’m extremely coachable, but I’m a horrible coach. Uh, so good thing I homeschool? Shit.

Anyway, here’s Kids Know Stuff:

ISFP – The Artists

The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of.

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

No, that’s not an actual picture of any of the children. And, I think, not even a picture anybody would ever have in their heads. Of anybody. Ever. However, the analysis is definitely true. My babies are precious little sweety punkins. They’re vulnerable and quiet and they definitely wouldn’t think it was funny to burp on camera or anything like that.

Speaking of artists, I know some. My friend Kristen Marra Marek has some photographs in the C-note Art Show. (There isn’t a search form on the site and there are a lot of artists, so do ctrl-f and then type her name in if you want see her stuff.) And maybe vote for her stuff because it’s good. I wouldn’t try to make you vote my way, though. No, I would never do that. I think voting should be private and not talked about at all.

*cough*

I know another awesome artist in that show, too: Sharon H. Bell. You could vote for her too if you wanted to. I know it says one vote/IP address, but sometimes that’s a lie. Sometimes it’s not, but you should try to vote twice like I did in the presidential election.