Posts tagged Chesaning MI
I Was a Fat Baby (I Think We’re Buying a House)
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Yes, the baby is fat, but look at that bathroom! Isn’t it gross? But still, I turned out ok. Sort of. I say this because we’re buying a house with awesomely dated bathrooms. Maybe. You never know until you actually close. We have a closing date (March 19th), time, and location, so we’ll probably close. But still. It’s a great house, great location, just a little dated. The bathrooms are especially dated, with seashell-shaped sinks in one of them. The other one has a dark brown toilet. And those bathrooms always make me think of that old bathroom in that picture up there.
Oh, and! There’s a Florida room. My friends and I get to play Golden Girls in it. I get to be Betty White because she always had a story about back in St. Olaf and I always have a story about back in Chesaning. I’ll let those of you who know Lynne, Kristen, and Dawn guess who gets to be lusty Blanche, straight-talking, offensive Sophia, and steady-eddie Dorothy. It’s hard to pick because they’re all so slutty and offensive!
Anyway, I’m packing. All the time packing.
Why We’ve Been Renting for Four Years
13This one time? In Chesaning? We bought this house? And it looked like this:
And we, along with lots of help from our family, worked on it for 5 years straight in this order: 2nd floor, 1st floor, outside. Most people would do the outside or 1st floor first, but we knew if we did that, we’d get burned out and we wouldn’t finish the 2nd floor. A few years later, it looked like this:

And then we added a garage and it was done and we relaxed for a whole summer before putting on a 2-story addition and then, hahahaha, we moved to Columbus and rented. For four years. Because an experience like that scars a person.
The kids were looking at The House photo album with me and when they came to this series of pictures of the 2nd floor bathroom and hallway:





Liberty said, “ZOMG, where did you live when the house looked like that?” She couldn’t fathom that we would actually live on the filthy 1st floor, but we did:


I didn’t tell her that one very special day, three months after buying the house, the furnace guy was late for his appointment with us, so she and Lena were conceived in the midst of that filth. From the look on her face when she saw the above pictures, I think that knowledge would only add to the trauma of her birth story.
Oh, hello sexy. Wouldn’t it be a great idea to get pregnant with one or two babies exactly 44 days from the date this picture was taken? After all, we have a house, let’s put some babies in it!
And that’s what we did. The 2nd floor was finished the day I came home from the hospital, but I couldn’t do stairs, so we still slept on the 1st floor in what would later become this:

That’s all paint, not wallpaper. And it looks a bit dated already, but I guess that was seven years ago. I wonder what we would be doing to it if we still lived there today.
The 1st floor was completely finished right after Lena and Liberty turned 2, then we started on the outside. So we lived on the 2nd floor with them for a couple of years. I don’t remember it being as hard as it sounds. Maybe because Bryan worked steadily, so there was always progress to keep me excited. The 1st floor was painted over the course of I have no idea how long, but I remember a long stretch of time where Lena and Liberty’s naps consisted of me sneaking out from under them to do a faux painting technique or stencil or whatever. I totally got out of painting the 2nd floor because I was on bedrest in the hospital. I was so smart. Our relatives were excited for us because of the house and the coming twins, so we used them all up. I bet once the babies came and the fog cleared, they were like, WTF were were we doing? But whatevs.
So there were walls to move, hallways to make smaller in order to make a bathroom bigger. The electrical and all that crap had to be done. The kitchen was moved from one room to another and we knocked down a wall to open it up into the dining room. The roof, the siding, the drywall, the everything. It was hard. We don’t ever want to do that again. Watching HGTV sometimes gives me panic attacks. And that’s one reason we’ve reveled in the freedom of renting for the last 4 years. REVELED in it. Yes, it was super sad to leave that house, but it was definitely freeing to move into an apartment and not have that sense of ownership and pride because those senses make us work super hard and it’s always easier to work less hard. But now we think it’s time to re-join the land of grown-ups. We’re looking at houses again. With great fear. And excitement. Mostly fear. We’ll never do a rehab to that extent ever again. Probably. But we’re ready for something. Maybe.
My Brother was Born in the 60s
7And today he’s 40.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My brother is 40. Don’t tell my sister, but she’ll be 40 this year too. In about 11 months. (My parents thumbed their noses at silly things like birth control and abstaining from sex for 6 weeks after the birth of a baby. “Pish-posh” said they, and then they had 2 babies in the same year. Dummies).
I like to tease my brother and sister about being born in the 60s since the rest of us (meaning their spouses and Bryan and I) were born in the 70s. My sister protests and thinks she’s as young as we are because she was born a mere 2 weeks before 1969 ended and her husband was born only 3 weeks into 1970, but the protest doesn’t stand. It was the 60s. Everything was different back then. And things that were around back then are old now. I didn’t make the rules.
My 40-year-old brother lives all the way in West Virginia now, but our grandmother saw fit to die yesterday* so her favorite grandson would have an excuse to travel to Chesaning so he could spend his 40th birthday at Dave’s bar playing Setback with his dumb ol’ buddies. Why yes, I did just spend 12 days in Chesaning, during which time my grandmother was in the process of dying and, yes, she actually did wait until the day after I arrived back in Columbus to die. Par. For. The. Course. Mikey was always her favorite. And for that, he’s a douche.
Already Failing
12I haven’t read more books than usual, I haven’t watched more movies than usual, I’ve written less than usual, and I don’t even own a cowbell. *sigh* I should’ve known better than to make resolutions. They never work out. I’ll try again next year.
Back to life in Columbus. Bryan and I think it’s unfair that we had to wake up to an alarm clock today and eat fibrous cereals instead of sleeping in until 9:00 and waking up to doughnuts. So many doughnuts! Do you know the thing about doughnuts? If they’re there, we’ll eat them. They taste good with coffee. And they taste good with ham.
I’ve written about my love of ring-shaped pastry before, but I’ve never actually succumbed to the seduction of Buckeye Donuts’ evil delivery system. In Chesaning, though, there are doughnuts to be had without even ordering them because my inlaws are extremely generous people and if they see you eat one doughnut, they will lovingly provide piles of them for you on a daily basis. And they won’t believe you when you say, “No, really, you don’t have to buy any more doughnuts.” Come to think of it, maybe they just couldn’t understand what we were saying with our mouth full of doughnuts. It’s hard to talk that way. Seriously, though, my body doesn’t know what to do with granola anymore. Here’s a hint, body: digest the shit out of it. Literally. Please.
Am I Supposed to Make a Resolution?
7It’s the last day of 2008 and I know I’m supposed to blog something about last year vs. next year, but I’m still in Chesaning and it’s hard to think, what with the historic Parshallburg bridge in a ditch. When we got here there was 18 inches of snow on the ground and then it all melted in one day (due in no small part to my warm and sunny disposition, I’m sure) and the rising river and broken up ice chunks beat the hell out of the old bridge until it broke free from its foundation and tipped over. The bridge was moved from its historic location nine years ago and for nine years everybody in this town has said, “It’s too low; that river gets way higher’n that.” But engineers are the super smartiest and they said it would survive a 100 year flood. Let me tell you, this was no 100 year flood. The flood of ’86? Now that was a flood. I remember swimming in those flood waters in my front yard and other places which, incidentally, are not flooded right now. I’m no engineer. I’m just saying.
So, I guess I hope I have a better year than the Parshallburg. Happy New Year! And happy birthday to my historic mother who turns 60 tomorrow.
| Parshallburg Bridge floats from its foundation in Chesaning |
I found the video here.

