My favorite part was the verbal voting. Congress would shout “yay” or “nay” and the Speaker would just say, “The ayes have it,” and then everybody would be like, “WTF? Count it for real, Douche!” Oh, I loved that every time. It was teh awesome.

I’m going to celebrate by giving myself a heart attack by eating this stick of butter that I have right here. You know, since all you suckers are paying for my health care now, I want to get as sick as I can! They warned you this would happen!

No, seriously, let’s celebrate by watching this. I think this will be the 3rd time I post this on my blog, which is more often than I’ve posted about my crazy grandma. Suck it up.

Marinating in babies.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter if it’s a boring book. It’s important to learn about important people in history. And now that he’s our president, I felt comfortable putting it on Kids Know Stuff. I didn’t feel comfortable before because I thought somebody would see it and then make me review that John McCain book by his heir-head daughter. I just can’t support Meghan McCain. As a daughter from my dad’s first marriage, it enrages me that she excluded Sen. McCain’s first marriage and her own half-brothers (half-, not even step-) from the book. Plus, she’s super rich and not that talented. I heard her once on NPR and she was all, “Like, yeah, it was super sweet writing that, like, book about my, um, dad and stuff?” And then I punched the car radio in the face.

Why am I still talking about politics? I’m not, I’m talking about my kids. That’s why this post is going under the “I Homeschool” category and not “I Like Politics?” I homeschool. And part of homeschooling is Kids Know Stuff. And part of homeschooling is being called racist by your mother. They have to learn.

Do you see that? There, in the bottom right corner? Cool. Just in case you can’t see it very well:

That’s right. Barack Obama really is our next president. Woohoo!

We had a little party over here last night. I thought when I woke up this morning, Mr. President-Elect would’ve had this place all cleaned up, but he didn’t. I’m beginning to regret my vote. I voted for change and it’s all just the same: I went to bed with a dirty house and woke up with a dirty house. Kidding!

Sorry about the delay in the acceptance speech, but he was busy emailing me to thank me for everything I did for his campaign:

I’m about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.
We just made history.

…

But I want to be very clear about one thing…
All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,
Barack

Yup, we’re friends. What? Other people got that email too? Well, it’s just because Barack has lots of friends. It doesn’t make my email any less special.

So the kids filled out the electoral college map with red and blue stickers. It came with the School House Rock Election Collection DVD.

They seemed to have fun with that, but they kind of balked at watching the acceptance speech. But Dawn and Kristen and Lynne and I weren’t having it. We forced them to watch history happen and, dammit, we forced them to like it. I liked it. Did you like it? If not, were you as gracious about it as Sen. McCain? Or did you boo like his a-hole supporters did every time he mentioned Obama in his concession speech? That was lame. But I thought McCain’s speech was excellent. Very classy. Now I have to make like Obama and clean up! Have a good first-day-not-worrying-about-the-election! Unless you live in Minnesota.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfjQujYrfEk

Anyway, we’re terribly busy because we all have jobs now, except Maya who is very quickly learning to read so she can get a job. She’s sitting on my lap as I type this and she just said, “Why does it say ‘Maya’? And why does it say ‘job’? I’m glad I didn’t type effin’ job or something like that. I’d hate for the first sentence she ever reads on my blog to contain profanity. (I wouldn’t really mind that, but I felt I needed to say that for that part of my audience which is comprised of good mothers.)

Um, anyway, yeah jobs. And we’re going to Michigan this weekend so the girls can trick-or-treat with their cousin so I have to make sure there are things to pack and stuff. Lena, Liberty, and Riley are all going to be characters from the Naruto books. (I gotta get this kid off my lap, she just said told Lena and Liberty, “Mom typed your name on the computer!”) And Maya is going to be a princess/cheerleader.

I’m kind of glad that we’ll be spending the last weekend before the election in Michigan. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pretend there is no election coming up, which will enable me to sleep the sleep of the non-swing-state citizen. We have election stuff to do on Monday when we get back, though. I did phone banking a few days ago again only this time we were calling democrats who have absentee ballots and telling them to mail the suckers in. It was way more fun than last week because everybody was all, GOBAMA! and stuff.

Ok, that’s all I got. It’s time for laundry now.

And just in case you don’t know what my title is talking about, here’s a video for you. Ok bye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXIBjo8gWEE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaAaKJEBJI4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq8Uc5BFogE

(Thanks Terreece.)

Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian. He’s always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer’s no, that’s not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, “He’s a Muslim and he might be associated terrorists.” This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

I cried. Did you cry? I did. Because he’s Colin frickin’ Powell and he’s finally saying what I wish all of the other powerful people would say. Even if he came out to endorse McCain, I would have still felt the same surge of extra respect. Endorsing Obama is just the icing on the Colin Powell cake.

As for the Sarah Palin on SNL, I’m confused by my feelings. First of all, she wasn’t funny. Second, she just kind of seemed like a punching bag, which I love, but that also makes things murky for me because here’s this woman who isn’t smart enough to realize that just because she’s on Saturday Night Live doesn’t mean she’s in on the joke. She was still the butt of the joke and the fact that she wasn’t smart enough to realize that and not put herself in that situation speaks to her desperate ignorance even more than any terrible Katie Couric interview. It’s one thing for Tina Fey to do her hilarious imitation of her when Palin isn’t there, but I couldn’t believe that Palin felt good about standing there while Alec Baldwin went on a tirade about her, calling her “that horrible woman” and her only comeback was to tell him that Stephen is her favorite Baldwin brother.

I was afraid that they would write some really funny stuff for her and then she would seem human and hilarious, but that’s not what happened. Remember when Hillary Clinton was on SNL? It was good and funny and smart. And, of course, the writers wrote better for Clinton, but I think that Palin should’ve been savvy enough to realize that the writers would not do that for her. At every turn, I thought it looked like they were all laughing at her, not with her. And it made me feel weird, like, as a woman, which was confusing because I really, really abhor her as a VP candidate, so I would think I would have just laughed at her, but I didn’t. I don’t even know if there’s a word for how I felt. I thought I would be happy that she didn’t have any good lines, but it just made me go, “Holy cow, you really are that dumb.” And it made me sad-ish. And scared. What if we have a VP who is that dumb? That would be bad.

So I walked around with a furrowed brow all weekend wondering why I have any feeling other than, “Haha! You’re dumb,” and wondering why I would even hope that she would be show us a glimmer of intellect. I guess I’m just going to chalk it up to the fact that she’s a woman and when a woman with that much power looks bad, I worry that we all look bad. Way to go, Palin. You are a ridiculous embarrassment and now I’ll never be chosen as anybody’s VP candidate. You’re ruining it for everybody.