Sundays with Stretchy Pants
It's like Tuesdays with Morrie without all the wisdom
A Buck and a River and a Face Stomp
7I raced a buck along the river this morning. A young 4-pointer, he was on the trail as I came around a curve. We startled each other and he leaped into the woods, ensconced in the comfort of his home. The leaves had mostly fallen, enabling me to spy as he sidled (no longer afraid) down to the shallow river. He glanced back at me, so I stopped running. He gave the river a sniff, then picked his way across with steps at once hesitant and sure, analyzing the river’s depth with each footfall. Once on the other side, he gave a couple of shakes, and looked back at me. I started running again. He humored me by slowly trotting in the same direction for almost 100 yards. In this way, we shared our morning.
What? I can’t write some nature junk once in a while? DON’T PUT ME IN YOUR BOX! I’m just kidding. I belong in that box because the real reason I paid such close attention to that buck is because I thought it would be spooked enough to gore me. And I thought it was stalking me. I saw 2 more deer that day, a doe running for her life with a HUGE buck running right behind. My first thought was that that doe’s totally in for some non-consensual sexy time. But, really, they were being chased by a dog so it’s all good. It’s all good until the buck stomps that lab’s face in, I guess.
That settles it. I’m not spraying deer piss on me before running anymore.
Vote For 4!
2September 29, 2010
by Abby
in I like Columbus
It’s hard to write about why we should support libraries without saying, “Duh!” It’s like trying to write about why we should support breathing. Do either of those things really need an explanation? The library has been as much a part of my life as breathing and if somebody said, “I don’t think breathing is that important in this day and age,” I would tell them they’re ridiculous and it’s obvious that they don’t get enough oxygen to their brain. And if someone said libraries aren’t important in this day and age, I would say it’s obvious that they are dumb and they should try to use the library more often. Because I resort to name calling when people disagree with me over something as fundamental as this. It’s just who I am.
We should breathe and support libraries because both of those things are compatible with a good life. I don’t feel like I’m being dramatic here. The library in my hometown is having a rough time. My nieces and nephews and little tiny cousins and friends who live there don’t have library access because of some serious funding issues. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about that and feel a punch in the gut because of it. No story hour, no job help, no school help, no computer help, no free music, no free movies, no free books.
Did I ever tell you about the time that free music and movies from the library led to honest-to-goodness book learnin’ for my little kids? Have you ever heard Rage Against the Machine’s “Renegades of Funk” and wondered what in the heck those young men were yelling about? My kids did. So we learned about it. And *gasp* GRAPHIC NOVELS? The bane of every “serious” book lover’s existence? When Liberty was just a wee lass, she caught site of a page or two of Maus and wondered about that, which led to checking out the Paper Clips dvd, Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl, and The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, all of which led to real-life learning about real-life things. And crying. There was crying because the Holocaust was pretty sad. But Zoo Tycoon is a happy thing! And kids can play that for free on the library’s computers without using up your home computer’s memory. And Zoo Tycoon teaches math, language, biology, and other stuff. And these are just the examples that are freshest in my mind. They’re freshest because they’re from a time when I didn’t trust that natural curiosity would lead to bonafide learning, so when it happened it was shocking, I tell you. Shocking. I didn’t trust the process, even though I had already read most of John Holt’s books about learning, which, by the way, I checked out at my local library. Anyway. Natural curiosity combined with unlimited resources from the library is just the perfect recipe for true learning.
Here in Columbus, our libraries have already had to cut staff, cut maintenance, cut hours, and cut book budgets. Because of state budget cuts, Columbus Metropolitan Libraries are hanging on by the skin of their teeth. Voting for Issue 4 will replace the 2.6 mills we’ve already been paying for for the last 10 years, and add just a teensy .2 in order to make up for state cuts. If Issue 4 doesn’t go through, the skin of their teeth will peel away and, well, you don’t even want to know what happens to teeth when the skin peels. I mean, it will be gross. Some branches could close. More staff will be cut. Less books will be bought. Super gross.
If you need more info that might be a tad more coherent, go to KeepCMLStrong.org and get some! And then VOTE FOR 4 on November 2nd.
Seven
6August 17, 2010
by Abby
in I have some daughters
She loves to build, bake, invent, draw, color, eat, play, sing, dance, change her clothes, buy new clothes, plan outfits, plan meals, plan Lego cities. Her passion is boundless. She’s innovative, and the way she changes from minute to minute is infinite. She’s independent in the most interesting ways, but she likes to wear my sweatshirt because she says she wants to be able to smell me whenever she needs to. She’s an excellent mix of strong and vulnerable, and now she’s seven. Seven? Really, I have no idea how we got here, but it’s a great place to be. 
We Thought it Would be Worth it
15July 12, 2010
by Abby
in I do stuff to my house
Yes, it’s a great house. Yes, it’s in a perfect location. Yes, we knew it would be tight for a while. We thought it would be worth it.
Turns out, it’s just a house.
We find this American Dream to be bullshit.
Bryan and I have a different American Dream. We felt it for the 4 years we spent renting when we moved to Columbus, and we thought something was wrong with us because we enjoyed renting so much. We figured we had PTSD from our first home-ownership and renovation experience, but now we are embracing our renter nature.
We don’t want to pay this kind of money (or any kind of money) for just a house. We want disposable income. We want to visit our family in Michigan and take a real family vacation. We want to take the kids wherever they want to go. Right now, this means Comic-Con and The American Girl store and to little cabins on Lake Michigan and Tawas Bay. We want to take them wherever else they want to go. We want to go away for the weekend, just us two. We want to be tourists in our own city and anywhere else we feel like it. We don’t want to buy mulch. We don’t want to buy carpet. We don’t want to put in another new bathroom. We don’t want to spend the weekend in the yard. We don’t want to pull weeds. We don’t want to plant flowers. We don’t want to fix doorknobs. We don’t want to buy prettier doors. We don’t want to seal the asphalt. We don’t want to buy paint. We don’t want to go to the hardware store. We don’t want to buy more stuff to fill up this house. We don’t want to spend any mental or physical or financial energy on just a house. We don’t want to be in debt. We don’t want to keep up with the Joneses. And anyway, we suspect that the Joneses have at least 1 credit card that they will never be able to pay off. We don’t want that.
We want to do stuff, not buy stuff.
Except for consumables. I love to buy consumables. I want to go out to eat so much that I get sick of it. Also? I like to buy beer WHENEVER I WANT. I’m out of beer much more often than I care to be and that is not cool. And I think it’s extra important to have an unlimited beer supply when you have a mortgage that prevents you from doing the things you want to do with your life. You can see how owning this house is a lose-lose situation.
We’re not house people anymore and I blame HGTV for making us think we’re supposed to be house people. I’m totally deleting that channel off of my tv and I’m only ever going to watch the Food Network and the Travel Channel when I’m in the mood for reality tv. And then we’re going to follow Man V. Food around just for fun because that dude’s life looks AWESOME.
Yes, moving sucks b@lls, but owning a house sucks b@lls dipped in poop, and we are just not into that.
Oh, and the children? I was worried about telling the children because, after all, children are usually the reason people buy awesome houses in great locations, so I thought this house meant something more to them, but when they heard the plan, Liberty said, “Good, I’m bored of this house anyway!” and Lena and Maya agreed. One of the things HGTV told me was that kids need their own space to decorate however they want. They didn’t tell me that once the space is decorated, the kid will want to change it within a month, which is exactly what happened here. I laughed and laughed and laughed when first Liberty, then Lena asked me to re-paint her room. Now I know better. And all of the kids know exactly what they’ve given up in order to live in this house. It’s not worth it to them, either.
Do you Want to be a Dumbass Town?
4June 22, 2010
The Chesaning library is in danger of closing. Up until May 1st of this year, it provided services to 5 townships, using only Chesaning’s taxes. The library can no longer afford to serve the other townships for free (on its 1970 budget), so after months and months and months of trying to become a district library and facing opposition from most of the school board and most of the township supervisors who keep saying things like, “I never even use the liberry, so what’s the big deal?” they’ve had to make it so only the people who pay taxes to the library can use it. The big deal is that it’s a frickin’ library. And a town the size of Chesaning should not have 3 dollar stores, but it does. A town the size of Chesaning, with so many surrounding townships that don’t have their own library really needs to have a library with a hip, young librarian who does everything she can to serve the community (check!)
Personally, I would have stabbed somebody if I couldn’t take my little ones to story hour when I lived in Chesaning. On purpose. I would have deliberated and planned it and then done it. And a jury of my peers would have said, “That seems reasonable.” I’m not suggesting that people get stabby, but I am suggesting that they call their township supervisor and harass yell at cry at let them know that it’s quite ok if they put this issue up for a vote so you all can decide if you want to pay less than 1 mil on your tax bill in order to have a FRICKIN’ LIBRARY. It’s a library. It seems like a no-brainer.
Oh, look! A list of township supervisors. With phone numbers and addresses! Just for you:
Albee Township Supervisor: Leon Turnwald (989) 770-4387 3395 W. Birch Run Rd., Burt MI 48417
Brady Supervisor: Ron Gasper (989) 845-3450 16172 Baldwin, Chesaning MI 48616
Maple Grove: Kevin M. Krupp (989) 845-6789 6352 Ditch Rd., Chesaning MI 48616
Edited to add: I forgot about New Haven! (thanks, Aunt Angie) New Haven Township Supervisor – Don Dickinson – 989-729-1043
Chesaning and Chapin are both in support of the library, so send these guys some chocolate. Or your panties, whichever you think they’ll appreciate more. Bob Corrin used to be my neighbor. I don’t think he’d want your panties, but you never know. People change and I’ve been gone a long time.
Chesaning: Robert Corrin 429 S. Chapman St., Chesaning MI 48616
Chapin: Robb C. Maynard 19650 Fenmore, Elsie MI 48831
And to the school board members and township supervisors who are against even putting it on the ballot, this is what people say about your town behind your back, and it’s all your fault:
h/t for the video goes to my friend Schmarol (not her real name because she might not want me to mention her in this post).
