Sundays with Stretchy Pants » I run

Barefoot Running in the Winter in Ohio on a Budget

Abby — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 14:38:51 +0000

I’ve turned a corner in my barefoot running life. It takes a long time for someone like me to build up mileage under normal circumstances, but barefoot running requires an even slower build up, so when I completely started over with barefoot running last year, I knew it would be a while until I was back to normal-for-me mileage. Then I moved to this neighborhood full of hills and I thought I might die. Then winter came and I thought I might die in a snow bank on a hill with frostbitten feet. But I didn’t! And now I’m back to my normal. And it makes me happy.

From almost the very beginning, it was clear that I wanted the feel of barefoot running, but with some shoe-like things on my feet because I couldn’t get the hang of not pushing off of the balls of my feet in order to minimize friction and avoid blisters. Back in those days (uh, 10 months ago), Vibrams were the recommended minimalist shoes. But I think they’re ugly and, though less expensive than regular running shoes, still more than I wanted to spend. Nowadays they have these minimalist shoes, which look totally rad:

Bad for Budgets!

But they’re $160 and it enrages me to spend that much of my clothing budget on a single item, so I’ll probably never buy them. Instead of real minimalist shoes, I bought $10 water shoes from the grocery store. To be honest, one of the reasons I started barefoot running last year was because I needed new running shoes, but I didn’t want to pay for them. I’d heard about barefoot running so I looked into more and gave it a try. I read Born to Run and all of the foot science stuff in there made so much sense to me, unlike most things I read which leave me mostly confused. And then I read some more things. But then I switched to wearing water shoes, so was I still running barefoot? Some of the internet says yes, but I have issues with exactness so I DON’T THINK SO! I’m a minimalist runner, but that phrase isn’t heard on NPR and whatnot so I’m saying “barefoot,” but you all know I really mean “minimalist,” right? In real life I say, “Well, not really barefoot, but almost.” which is too wordy for typing.

Good for Budgets!

After barefooting it for a few months, I put my regular old Asics on just to wear while having a garage sale and I threw my back out. The sciency stuff about barefoot running tells me that that was because the bulky Asics affected my gait so much that my back didn’t know what to do with itself so it tried to commit suicide. So I put those shoes in the Planet Aid box and bought myself some minimalist shoes that I could walk around in and not be embarrassed by (I’m looking at you, Vibrams. Yes, you’re embarrassing. And this is coming from me. Have you seen how I dress? If I think you’re embarrassing, then you have a problem). I believe that minimalist shoes should be cheap, so I bought these:

Lovely, under $40, room for my foot to experience its whole range of motion, no bunion pain, and no back pain. I had already built up the strength in my foot tendons and muscles by being close-to-barefoot at all times all summer, so I didn’t have that part of the curve to deal with. But the amazing lack of bunion pain when wearing real-live shoes caused a happiness to bubble up within me, the likes of which I usually don’t experience unless there is some sort of good food involved. Every single time I bought a new pair of shoes, I’d have bunion pain until my foot wore down that part of the shoe. I thought it was a fact of life. Turns out, I was suffering for no reason! And then I married barefoot running. (I didn’t really because I’m not adding a 2nd husband to my marriage until ALL people can get married to inanimate objects, ideas, or even just other people who happen to be the same sex. Wait, is that the “slippery slope” conservatives talk about? Haha, so dumb.)

When winter came, I knew I had to find a way to get through it without real shoes. I put some SmartWool on, upgraded to $30 water shoes, mostly because it seemed like I needed a little extra weather protection around the bottom of my feet, but also because we had sold our house and I was feeling so spendy! The shoes and socks were perfect if there was no precipitation or melty snow on the road. In other words, that combo was perfect for roughly 4 days of a mid-Ohio winter. Wet feet + cold weather = bullcrap. So I asked the internet to tell me what to wear instead, but the internet forgot that I don’t spend big money on single items that I can’t even wear to fancy places where I never go. It kept telling me to get those awful Vibrams and whatnot. I told the internet to try again and it found Seal Skinz for me. Good internet. Now that it’s allegedly almost spring, I have some things figured out. If it’s cold and wet, I wear my water shoes, SmartWool, and Seal Skinz.

If it’s cold and dry, just the water shoes and SmartWool. If it’s over 40 degrees and dry, it’s warm enough to wear just the water shoes and light socks. And that is so, so lovely. I don’t have to, but I usually choose to wear a light pair of running socks with my water shoes because, without the socks, the smell that grows within the disgusting shell of those shoes is life-threatening. Our house is small. If my running shoes smell bad, the whole house smells bad. Also, I like socks because I usually take the liner out of the bottom of the shoes because it tends to slip around and be weird, and then my feet don’t have to cope with leftover sticky stuff. That has only been an issue with the grocery store shoes, though. The Speedo ones still have their liner and I’ve been wearing them since December.

All of those things, including the walking around shoes, come to less than $100. The only part of my combo that will have to be replaced regularly is the water shoes, and now I know I can go back to the $10 grocery store shoes because the Seal Skinz eliminate my perceived need for more weather protection. I used to spend over $100 on shoes 3 times per year. Because that’s what they told me I needed to do and I am ever so compliant. I’d spend that money and still have bunion pain for weeks until I wore down the state-of-the-art cushioning that made my shoes more expensive. Stupid!

I’m totally going to make a list of all of the good food I can buy with the money I’m saving. And then I’m going to eat my way through Columbus barefoot. The end.

A Buck and a River and a Face Stomp

Abby — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 12:24:49 +0000

I raced a buck along the river this morning. A young 4-pointer, he was on the trail as I came around a curve. We startled each other and he leaped into the woods, ensconced in the comfort of his home. The leaves had mostly fallen, enabling me to spy as he sidled (no longer afraid) down to the shallow river. He glanced back at me, so I stopped running. He gave the river a sniff, then picked his way across with steps at once hesitant and sure, analyzing the river’s depth with each footfall. Once on the other side, he gave a couple of shakes, and looked back at me. I started running again. He humored me by slowly trotting in the same direction for almost 100 yards. In this way, we shared our morning.

What? I can’t write some nature junk once in a while? DON’T PUT ME IN YOUR BOX! I’m just kidding. I belong in that box because the real reason I paid such close attention to that buck is because I thought it would be spooked enough to gore me. And I thought it was stalking me. I saw 2 more deer that day, a doe running for her life with a HUGE buck running right behind. My first thought was that that doe’s totally in for some non-consensual sexy time. But, really, they were being chased by a dog so it’s all good. It’s all good until the buck stomps that lab’s face in, I guess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khKrd1RNy2U

That settles it. I’m not spraying deer piss on me before running anymore.

Embracing my Beginnerlyness

Abby — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:06:51 +0000

I run very beginnerly. I think that sounds better than saying I run like a beginner because that sounds like running like a beginner is a bad thing, like how “you throw like a girl” is always an insult.

I’ve been running for almost 4 years now, so I thought I should try to improve myself. I worked on my speed over the summer and I didn’t get to where I thought I’d magically be able to get, but I did manage to shave some seconds off of my time and then I decided I was done doing that. I’m training for my 3rd 1/2 marathon, so I thought maybe I should do the intermediate training program instead of the beginner one. And then I decided I was done doing that and switched back to the beginner one. I like to have 2 days off and I don’t like to run an intermediate amount of miles per week. Don’t wanna. Ain’t gonna. I want to get back to enjoying the run and enjoying the races.

Here’s what I love about races: t-shirts, pre-race camaraderie, post-race food, post-race talking about the race and how good it felt.

Here’s what I hate about racing: setting goals and trying to meet them.

Here’s what happens in my head during a race when I’ve set a goal:

*looks at watch and sees she’s way off her goal* “Ok, dig deep, you can do it!” (Those are not words that come naturally to me, but I’ve heard them spoken in these types of situations, so I think they must have some kind of power).

*runs just a little bit faster until it starts to feel bad* “Nah, why you gotta do that? Just finish. Who gives a shit?” (Those are words that come quite naturally to me).

*starts to feel bad about being a giver-upper* “You set a goal, let’s go! There is no reason why you can’t do this. You breastfed premie twins who had all kinds of issues and you did it! You had a homebirth VBAC with 28 hours of labor. You did that! You are a badass motherfucker just like your wallet says, and you do badass shit all the time!”

*looks at watch again* “Yeah, but I don’t wanna.”

And then I feel bad about myself for not being able to make it important enough to work super hard. So the whole rest of the race I do this: “This is bullshit. I’m never racing again. I can’t take the mind-fuck. So dumb. I’m just gonna run with my audiobook and my NPR on the pretty trail all by my damn self. Stupid race, I hate you and I wish I could punch you in the face.”…”I hope they have asiago cheese bagels. If they do, I’m taking 6 of them home. How many bagels would I need to take in order to come out even with the entry fee?”

It never used to be like that. When my goal was just to finish without dying, I was happy the whole time as long as I was alive and there were Panera bagels at the finish. I’m going back to that mindset and embracing my beginnerlyness. I don’t like to strive for it and I don’t like to be in pain after. It’s not in my nature to strive. If the apocalypse happens, I will be the one begging for a cyanide pill instead of learning how to hunt. And, if you know me, you know I loooove to read books and studies that already confirm my own beliefs. That’s why John Bingham is my new best friend. His book No Need for Speed has brought running joy back. And now that I’ve embraced this philosophy instead of fighting it, I feel like a real runner.

I used to have a “runner girl” sticker on my van, but then I took it off because I didn’t feel like a real runner. Now I feel like a real runner, but my own kind of runner so I uploaded my header image to Cafe Press and now I have this sticker on my van:

Liberty drew that picture for me 3 years ago and now the “Liberty!” means so much more. It means “Suck it, races, I can do what I want!”

Running Fears

Abby — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:49:04 +0000

I have several fears* related to running, none of which have to do with goals and pace and whatnot. Here they are in order of intensity:

1. Dying of hunger. (Yes, this is my number 1 fear. It could happen. To be fair, it’s not just a running fear. I’m always thinking about my next meal, so running just kind of exacerbates that tendency.)

2. Dying of thirst. (I don’t like to be thirsty. If I run more than 6 miles, I bring my water bottle. Yesterday, though, I ran 6 miles so I didn’t have my bottle with me, which was a mistake because I was listening to Life of Pi on my iPod and when he started whining about thirst when he was stuck in the lifeboat and hadn’t found the water yet, I really thought my tongue swelled up and I was dying with him. That was lame.)

3. Unleashed butt-sniffing dogs.

4. Running out of audio books/This American Life/The Moth or whatever I’m listening to. (I’m back to listening to words ever since the Podrunner podcasts got me used to how it feels to run at a decent for me pace.)

And, as of today, I have a brand-new fear:

5. Throwing up in my mouth.

Damn Fridays with their leisurely ways. All I have to do today is run, get groceries, and get the kids to breakdancing on time. Maybe I should clean the house up a bit since potluck is here tonight, but I probably won’t. Because it’s FRIDAY! I usually have single cup of coffee, eat a banana, coffee works (or doesn’t, the mystery of my bowels can not be solved) and then I run. Today, because it’s FRIDAY! I was feeling leisurely. It’s not hot out, so I don’t have to hurry up and run, so I had 2 cups of coffee. And right in the middle of my run, out of nowhere, I threw up a little in my mouth. I had 3 miles to go with puke taste in my mouth and no water bottle. That was gross. And now I fear it. The end.

*I don’t fear stupid rapists on the trail because, well, good luck getting my anti-chafing shorts off. These suckers are tight. Just because I’m a runner doesn’t mean I don’t have to do everything I can to make sure my thighs don’t try to start a fire down there. I can barely peel them off when I’m motivated by an intense need to pee, so there’s no way some weak-ass chump rapist is going to get them off of me. Not before I kick him in the face a million times like that Looney Tunes kangaroo.

Told You I’d Lose an Eye

Abby — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:08:25 +0000

It was just a matter of time. I didn’t actually take a stick to the eye, but I was momentarily blinded while concentrating on running. It’s a dangerous sport. There was a low-hanging branch on the trail and I was keeping the beat (RIGHT,left,RIGHT,left,RIGHT,left) and really focused on not dying my startling athleticism when the branch hit the bill of my orange Detroit Tigers hat, forcing the bill down over my eyes and knocking my head back a little bit.

It’s clear by my illustrations that the hat saved my life. My sister bought it for me, so thanks for that, Tracey.

The Heat Hates Stupid People. So it Tried to Kill me.

Abby — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:22:10 +0000

It’s time to flip my morning routine around. I can’t run in the 9:30am heat. I usually put laundry in the washer, drink my coffee, eat my breakfast, check my email, let the coffee go to work *cough*, then hang the laundry on the line, then at least 1 or 2 kids are up, so I feed them, and then I run. But now it’s hot and on today’s run, my fingers swelled up to look like 10 portly thumbs, and I was really thirsty and around mile 4 I felt chilly and I thought, “Huh, that doesn’t seem right.” And the heat melted my Vaseline barrier that I always make in order to keep the rivers of sweat out of my eyes. So rivers of sweat ran in my eyes. And have you ever tried to dry your eyes with a tech shirt? It doesn’t work. That material might be made for wicking sweat away from my body, but it isn’t made to mop up the buckets of stinging sweat that my head produces, thus the Vaseline barrier. It usually works like a charm, as you can see by this rough sketch:

See how the sweat runs into the barrier and goes around and down without stinging my eyes? It’s lovely. See my big smile?

But today, The Heat wanted to punish me so this happened:

See my frown? That means I was sad. The Heat made me sad when it tried to kill me.

I Should Just Play Dodgeball Instead

Abby — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:45:31 +0000

I’ve been trying to work on my running speed without much progress. Every weekend a group of menopausal women passes me going super fast. I know they’re menopausal because I can hear them laughing and chatting about vaginal dryness and hot flashes from the time they’re a quarter mile behind me until they’re a quarter mile ahead of me. They zoom past, yukking it up and they’re not even short of breath. And they’re old. I want to be like that when I’m old so I’m working on it. I could just run later in the day on the weekends so I won’t run into them anymore, but it’s getting kind of hot out now and sometimes I think the heat might make me die. My goal is to at least quicken my pace to the point where it takes them longer to pass me and I keep them in my line of vision for longer before they disappear on the horizon. It’s a lofty goal, believe me.

I do well on my “speed work” days, but then on my regular runs, I go back to slow. I don’t know how to get the feel of a certain pace, so I just go at a pace that doesn’t hurt very badly. When I started running a few years ago, I used to listen to music, but then I found that once I listened to certain music while running, it was impossible for me to listen to it in real life. It made me feel weird so I started listening to a combination of audio books, “This American Life,” “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me,” “The Moth,” and “RadioLab.” And my speed has suffered. I really get into the stories and I find myself pretty much just shuffling my feet with my mouth hanging open from time to time. It’s a wonder that I don’t veer off the trail and run into a tree every now and then.

But Dawn introduced me to these podcasts that are organized by beats per minute, so all I had to do is figure out what BPM will keep me at the pace I want. And it’s all house music or club music or whatever the kids are calling it these days. I don’t listen to that in real life, so it doesn’t ruin any music for me! And it doesn’t have words, so I don’t get caught up in the story! I do sometimes get distracted, “Is that a cat yelling? I wonder if that’s a foley artist effect or if it’s somebody’s cat? What did they do to get the cat to make that sound? I wonder if they gave it some kind of designer club drug. I wonder what the new designer club drugs are called these days. ‘Ecstasy’ was just about the best drug name ever. If I hadn’t been afraid of man-made drugs, I totally would have taken something called ‘ecstasy.’ That’s just good marketing.” And sometimes,, because it’s club music, I think about Bryan’s former co-worker in Michigan who showed up to work one day with a tether bracelet on her ankle. Bryan asked her what she did to deserve that and, with complete nonchalance, she said, “Shot up a club.” (He didn’t press for details. Can you believe that?) And then I snap out of it and find myself off beat (I like to keep the beat with my right foot), so then I do a little stutter step to get back on beat, which means one day I will probably fall down and take a stick to the eye, but for now it’s working.

Well Now I Have to Run Another One

Abby — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:09:36 +0000

I know I said I would never run another half marathon, but I lied. I needed a goal, so I tricked a couple of cousins and my sister-in-law into running the Capital City half with me so I couldn’t back out. I didn’t back out and I felt 100% better before, during, and after this one than I did the first time around. Probably because I ran this one much slower than the first one, although my training for this one led me to believe I would run it faster than the first one. I don’t know what went wrong, but I do know it’s hard for me to push myself. It was clear around mile 3 that I was way off my goal pace, but I just kind of shrugged and sighed and kept on running slowly. I don’t have that drive that would enable me to sacrifice my comfort in order to meet a goal. I like to be comfortable. But I’m going to try to be goal-oriented next time. Unless it hurts too much. I can handle the emotional pain of not meeting my goal much better than I can handle the physical pain of, well, meeting my goal.

Anyway, WE FRICKIN’ DID IT!

That’s us immediately post-race: Jenna, me, Tracy, and Mandy.

We spent the rest of the day with lots of beer and ibuprofen:

And I have to just say right here how lovely my husband was all weekend. He cleaned for us, he fetched for us, he took care of the children, he let me nap the day away when I finally came down off of my endorphin high on Sunday. He was just all-around lovely and he helped make the weekend (my birthday weekend, by the way. I’m 34 today!) extra special. And we’re doing it again in October so my sister can join in.

Now I have to go enjoy my birthday. Bryan took the day off work in order to pamper me, so I guess I should let him rub my feet or something. *sigh*

Two More Days Until I Can Stop Hating Christmas Music

Abby — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:06:02 +0000

I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving for lots of reasons, but my number one happy reason is because, after it’s all over, then I can stop screaming obscenities at my car radio every time I inadvertently come across one of the stations that plays all Christmas music, all the time. It started on November 1st and I’m too lazy to re-set my pre-sets, so I keep stumbling upon effing Christmas music. Since the day after Halloween. It’s not right. And I will stab somebody. I know I should be thinking about effing Christmas. I know I have to buy people stuff. I know, I know, I know. I don’t need stupid songs to remind me. Kids Know Stuff is backfiring for me because, while I’m getting good gift ideas for my kids, my kids already have the stuff because they had to review it. I should’ve thought this through a little better. It works out well for you, though, because you could win a bunch of cool DVDs from my kids. You’re so selfish. I would try to win them, too, but my kids already have them. I can’t even re-wrap them for Christmas because that might be a touch meaner than usual.

This Thanksgiving, I’ll be running the Turkey Trot 5-miler for the 3rd year in a row. This year is different, though, because Mechelle won’t be here (boo!), and my husband is running it with me (yay!) Bryan is a natural sprinter; he does not “try to kill himself” by running more than a few miles at a time at super-sonic speed. The one time he tried to run with me, he had to shorten up his stride so much in order to stay slow that he got injured. I’m slow and short, with no competitive edge, enabling me to run long(ish) distances without ever having a heart attack. He’s fast, tall, competitive, and generally has ants in his pants, so it’s hard for him to pace himself. This should be interesting. The best part is, I don’t have to use my endorphins as energy for cooking Thanksgiving dinner because Kristen is doing that! Isn’t she sweet? That means I’ll be able to use that energy high for things like drinking. And pouring drinks. Should be fun. Also, Kristen‘s husband and son are running with Bryan and me. I hope they remember to wait for me when it’s over. And I hope Bryan doesn’t weep because he doesn’t come in first. The last time he ran races regularly, he usually came in first and colleges watched him and sent him letters promising money to him for the pleasure of enjoying his long, lean legs and his powerful stride. Or something like that. That’s him winning. *sigh*

Miles and Miles of Smothers Brothers

Abby — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 15:02:02 +0000

I’ve been listening to the Smothers Brothers on my runs lately. They give new meaning to the phrase “fun run.” I love them. I giggle. And I love running in the fall. When it’s cold enough that you need gloves at first, but then you can take them off after a little while? That’s the best time of year. And my forehead sweat has stopped blinding me by pouring into my eyes. Thank you, cool weather. In the summer, if I forget to make a little barrier with various petroleum-based products then I go blind with my drippy, drippy sweat. Have you ever tried to dry your eyes with a tech shirt? It’s not comfy. It’s supposed to wick sweat away, but I guess that doesn’t mean you can use it for a towel.

Ok, so I’m pimping Kids Know Stuff again because we’re going to be doing lots of giveaways over the next couple of months and I love you guys and I want you to win some stuff so you don’t have to buy stuff for the holidays. We’re running a two-fer right now even! Dawn made the site all gorgeous. Thanks Dawn! (Dawn from Open Book Strategies, not Dawn from This Woman’s Work. Wait, maybe they’re the same person. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen them in the same room together even though I’m good friends with both of them. And they both have the same last name. Weird. Must look into that.) Anyway, go look at what Dawn can do. And then bow to her.