I like politics?

Um, did you all get your DVD in the mail? You know, Obsession: Vote for McCain or the Islamics Will Get You Radical Islam’s War Against the West I’m pretty sure the words I crossed out were the working title for this until the company remembered that they are not allowed to take political sides. This is the DVD that may have been the inspiration for the completely horrendous gassing of Muslim children in Dayton last week. And that gassing? That’s going to be my inspiration for going around and videotaping all of the hate crimes that Christians commit in the name of Jesus, and I’m going to put out my own DVD documenting every abortion clinic bombing, every pastor/priest molestation, every homophobia-inspired beating, every hateful slur hurled at a young girl at a Planned Parenthood, and every other ignorant hateful act committed against any non-Christian, non-white, non-YourDefinitionOfNormal person, and I’m going to put it out there and say, “This is what most Christians are like.” It’s going to be called Jesus Hates All Extremists (Even Christian Ones) and So Does the Rest of the Sane World. To be subtitled: If you don’t think there’s anything wrong with Christians being mean in the name of Jesus, then you deserve every teenage pregnancy and STD that your abstinence-only trained sons and daughters get. And I hope your children are gay and super butch or super flamboyant, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but because I know you’ll hate it so much that you’ll hold prayer meetings and your pastor will lay hands on you and you’ll lie awake at night wondering why the devil is picking on you by making your child gay, when the real issue is what kind of shame are you carrying around or covering up that would make you so hell bent on hating and shaming people who are different from you?

The title might be a little bit long, but I think it works.

Let’s see what NPR has to say about it.

It’s called Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West. The DVD was made in 2006, before this presidential contest began, and it doesn’t even allude to electoral politics.

But, filled with dire warnings about Islamic terrorists, it hit doorsteps seven weeks before Election Day. And critics say it fuels the false whisper campaign that Barack Obama is secretly a Muslim.

Madaline Muir of Montgomery County, Pa., got the DVD in her Philadelphia Inquirer. She called it propaganda.

“Propaganda?” You mean like Hitler used? Nah! Oh, wait. Sometimes if you read Hitler’s stuff and replace “Jew” with “Muslim” and “Germany” with “USA” it kinda looks the same. Hm.

Do you think the distributors of this DVD might know that lots and lots of voters are very bad at a very basic preschool skill, which is called “Are These Two Things the Same or Different?” We can tell what’s different from our own selves, even if we can’t quite put our finger on the difference (i.e. “I don’t know what he is, but he ain’t white. *snort, spit*) But when there are very major differences within a sect of people whose culture and faith are completely misunderstood most of the time? Well, that’s when we have a problem differentiating. (i.e. “He seems like a swell family man, but he wears one of them head thingies, so he’s prolly a terrorist so I’ma throw a rock at him!” FYI, square does NOT equal rhombus.) And then a DVD comes in the mail and kicks the fear up a few notches, and instead of using that fear as an impetus for studying up and finding out the truth, lots of people will take that fear and hurt people with it. Classy.

You want to please Jesus? Well, he’s a liberal so vote for Obama and be nice to people. The Beatitudes* is where it’s at, bitches!

*And when The Beatitudes says, “Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account,” it doesn’t mean that you’ll be blessed when people call you out on your asshole-ish hate. You have to be nice first and then people can make up lies about you and then you’ll be blessed, but you can’t blow up the joint in the name of Jesus and then have people mad at you and then be blessed. Mkay? Same goes for the one about justice and righteousness. It’s real justice and righteousness, not justice for the unborn by killing an abortion doctor, and self-righteousness. See the ones about the meek, the peacemakers, the pure in heart, the mourners, the poor in spirit, and the merciful for clarification.