If you have a blog, you know that spammers will try to trick you into visiting their site by leaving fake messages. Usually, the messages are uplifting with lots of exclamation marks and praise. My favorite so far: “You;re blog is beast!!!!!!!!” While I know the kids these days sometimes use the word “beast” that way, I also know that spammers are normally bad at spelling and punctuation and English, so I’m pretty sure it was supposed to say, “Your blog is the best!!!!!!!” These messages are intended to warm your heart and make you say to yourself, “That’s so sweet and I don’t even know this person in real life. Wait, there’s a link, I’m going to visit their blog and leave a nice comment about them.” And then you’ve lost. Your ego made you lose. Loser.

Lately, though, I’ve notice a lot more disagreeable comments from them. I think the spammers are looking to create controversy so you’ll want to track them down and google stalk them until you accidentally buy one of their products. So clever because we humans love to have internet controversies.

Still, though, the spammers just aren’t good at what they do. Just as an example, I have 2 spam comments on my Thankful post that really make me wonder:

Baby Grocery Cart Cover says, “Well, I don’t know yet. Not sure. But this is convincing…”

Really, Baby Grocery Cart Cover? Am I supposed to be sucked into an argument about this? What are you not sure about? The fact that I have children? The fact that it was noon and they were in their jammies? Do you doubt my thankfulness? Psh.

And Jungle Ceiling Fan Pull says, “I disagree. I wonder how you draw your conclusin?”

Oh, Jungle Ceiling Fan Pull, what were you thinking? This is a perfect comment for so many of my posts that state a “conclusin” without having any facts. My “conclusin” that I should get in the shower because the people at the party would be thankful for that? I draw that “conclusin” by knowing that I’m a greasy, smelly skank if I don’t shower. How do you draw your “conclusin” that people want a jungle ceiling fan pull? Nobody wants one, even if you use clever spam. Not clever enough!

Do you have imaginary conversations with spambots? Do you have real conversations with people you know in real life? Do you wonder why I would have imaginary conversations with spambots? Leave a comment and let me know where you get your lithium.

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