Archive for October, 2009

No Art Degree Necessary

6

mayarainbow

Maya made that for me. She said it’s called, “Rainbow with a Yellow Polka-Dot,” but I’m pretty sure its full title is “Rainbow with a Yellow Polka-Dot: A Tribute to Womanhood.” Or, because she made it specifically for me, “Rainbow with a Yellow Polka-Dot: The Healing Peace of Homebirth,” or “Rainbow with a Yellow Polka-Dot: The Yellow Light of Life.” I don’t know, I’m no art major, but it just seems like there’s more to it.

Undead

7

You guys, that was a bad flu. I think it was the H1N1, according to a chart that Kristen sent me, but we don’t have confirmation because we didn’t go to the doctor because there’s nothing they could do for us anyway, thanks to the fact the Liberty already has her very own handy-dandy nebulizer for breathing treatments, and the rest of us just needed ibuprofen. Lots and lots of ibuprofen. The ibuprofen was my best friend ever in the whole world. The ibuprofen took the pain and chills and heat away. I will name my next baby “ibuprofen.”

I couldn’t even watch tv, read, play with the internet, or eat very much. I had 3 review books just sitting here waiting for me to read them, but I couldn’t even lift them, let alone focus my eyes and then also think about what I was reading in order to write a coherent review. It was an extremely unproductive, painful illness. It was one of those where you find yourself re-thinking your last will and testament. I didn’t really like it much at all. After the sickness part was over, there was this extreme exhaustion that we just couldn’t shake. I took at least 1 nap every day for 10 days. I haven’t done that since having babies and toddlers. I miss napping with babies and toddlers. That was fun. Falling over half-dead because you moved around a little bit earlier in the day was not fun.

I was too wiped out to run the 1/2 marathon. I told myself the night before that I wouldn’t be running so I might as well just go to sleep, but that didn’t work because my nervous brain knew I was going to try to run it, so I had my traditional no-sleep-the-night-before-the-race, which is the thing I hate the most about races. The next morning, I was very weak after putting my d-tag on my shoe and pinning my bib number to my shirt so I said, “You know what? You’re dumb if you think you’re going to run this race,” and threw in the towel. But I did have enough adrenaline/drugs in order to go watch my sister complete her very first 1/2 and she did great! She kicks so much more ass than I do because she didn’t just run the 1/2, take a shower, and then sit around in stretchy pants all week. She ran the 1/2, took a shower, did her hair, put on make-up, and put on JEANS. Now Bryan is going to expect more than my usual post-race week of sloth if I ever run another one. *sigh*

I did really enjoy watching and yelling, “Lookin’ good, runners!” and stuff like that. That is, until Bryan and my niece and nephew got there and started making fun of me for cheering. Meanies. I think they were just jealous because nobody ever cheers for their lazy asses.

It was a too-short visit, but I’m glad they came. I didn’t really have my appetite, but when I think about all of the things we ate, it seems funny to say I didn’t have my appetite. I eat a lot of food and I get sad when I can’t eat a lot of food. Also, my mom visited for a whole week and she’s all about the eating out and feeding us snacks. I couldn’t even enjoy it and now I’m hungry. And sad.

As usual, this flu hit Liberty the hardest. She has lung issues and if we didn’t already own a nebulizer, we would’ve gone to the  hospital. Last night was the first night she didn’t need a pre-bed breathing treatment, and I’m sure she’s over it. Nevertheless, I will leave the nebulizer, her meds, and all of the little attachments for the nebulizer out all over the house for another 2 weeks or so because I always feel like if I put it away too soon, she’ll relapse. God hates it when I feel confident, so if I put it away, he’ll zap her, I just know it.

Neil Gaiman is a Powerful Man

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Don’t ever invoke the name of Neil Gaiman when making wishes. Especially in October.

Minutes after I tweeted this:

Is it wrong to wish for H1N1 so I have time to watch @neilhimself read The Graveyard Book in it its entirety? http://www.mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx

I felt a little tickle in my throat. I immediately began mainlining Echinacea and snorting Vitamin C, which is what I usually do when I feel even the slightest hint of a virus coming on. I also began to regret my tweet. Why didn’t I just say, “Huh, it’s October and I homeschool. What better way to enjoy afternoon story time than with a creepy book read to us by Neil frickin’ Gaiman?” Why didn’t I say that? Why did I see that link and immediately wish I had several blocks of uninterrupted time to enjoy it all by myself? It is, after all, a children’s book. Or young adult or whatever. At any rate, my children have all heard the audio version already. Why didn’t I choose my tweet more carefully?

I started my Echinacea/Vitamin C regimen Saturday night, but my cough grew steadily worse. This morning, I have a cough and a fever, and an unnatural urge to find a spider and get it to tell me that I’m not sick because now I really believe about Spider from Anansi Boys. But probably Spider would complicate things further. Wouldn’t he, Neil Gaiman? You bet your black leather jacket he would.

I’m still on the herbs, but I’m no hippie. I’m also taking ibuprofen because I don’t like to suffer. I don’t like fever and lethargy and pain. I don’t like to be hungry, thirsty, or sad. So taking medicine is just like eating when I’m hungry, drinking when I’m thirsty, getting drunk when I’m sad. Kidding! When I’m sad, I watch Metalocalypse.

Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson and we need no longer muck about like this, Neil Gaiman. (See how I used a British phrase there? It shows I’m sincere. I could just as easily have said, “mess around” or my favorite, “dick around,” but I didn’t.)

P.S. Is it wrong to wish for $1,000,000 so I have time to watch @neilhimself read The Graveyard Book in its entirety? http://www.mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx

Feckless Friday: I Shouldn’t be Allowed to Have a DVR Edition

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This might cross the line from feckless to just, well, stupid.

I’m really embarrassed. I watch this show called Metalocalypse. There, I said it. I don’t just stumble across it and watch it when I happen to notice that it’s on. No, I willfully set my DVR up to record it and every time I look at the list of recorded shows, I get a little happy when I see it on there. A lot happy.

I keep trying to write up a defense of why I like it, but it might be indefensible. It’s violent and filthy. But it has really good subtle humor, too, and I swear that’s why I like it.

*sigh* Now you know. I have nothing to say on my behalf. I just spent way too long watching way too many clips in order to share some with you. And I enjoyed it. And I might watch some more.

“And here’s my guitar made from the wood from Christ’s cross.”

“An apple! God’s alcohol!”

“I’ve got my mother’s nose. In my pocket.”

It’s Feckless Friday. Please play along so I have something to distract me from more Metalocalypse clips. Blog it, Tweet it, Facebook it, but don’t put it on Myspace because nobody goes there anymore. Not even me. See? I do have some standards.

built-ny-thirsty-tote-baby-all_2352_general

Proper Hydration is Priceless

5

Know what I love? Food. Know what goes good with food? Beer. I know, but you can’t drink beer all the time. So know what is super awesome? WATER!

This is going to sound like a commercial, but it’s not a commercial, I swear. I care very deeply about personal hydration and I am very excited to have all of my personal hydration issues solved (taste and portability) after so very long.

If you know me, you know I love food and alcohol and I run a lot. All of those things mean that I have to make sure I’m hydrated. Oh, also, I used to feed children (sometimes 2 at a time) with my breasts. So hydration is a big deal for me. I’m super cheap I care very deeply about the environment (I do now, but I didn’t back in the day) so I’ve never been one to buy bottled water. I’ve only ever carried a reusable  bottle around and, back in the day, that meant that I was always lamenting the plastic taste of the water and lamenting the fact that the taste I was lamenting was the taste of cancer or whatever. Anyway, I dealt with the plastic taste all of those years and then, when I was able to leave the house without a diaper bag (Oh, glorious day), I had another problem: WHERE’M I GONNA PUT MY WATER BOTTLE? I suffered, lo, this many years by carrying my water bottle IN MY FREE HAND because I couldn’t put it in my purse because my purse didn’t have a handy bottle carrier thingy and if I shoved the bottle in my purse, the condensation would get all over my library book and my wallet. I don’t like to pay for library books, so this didn’t suit me.

So, 2 problems: Taste, and carry around-ability. With me? Ok.

Ok, so remember when Baying Hound gave Liberty a Klean Kanteen to try? Well, then I bought 3 more because it solved my problem of taste. Yay!

So, the Klean Kanteen solved 1/2 of my problems right away, still leaving me with the portability issue.

Anyway, guess what I stumbled across at Baying Hound? You won’t believe it! Look:

built-ny-thirsty-tote-baby-all_2352_general

The answer to all of my problems: A frickin’ neoprene carrying-case thingamajig that, yes, I could totally carry, but more importantly for me, I could stuff it in my purse and the Klean Kanteen can’t sweat on my library book!

You guys, I am soooooo happy about this, you have no idea. I just keep stuffing my be-neoprened Klean Kanteen into my purse with my book and I actually can use my free hand to wave or flip you off or whatever! Isn’t that awesome? I never thought I could be this happy.

A word, if you please, about price. Now, if you’re like me, you might say, “Hey, a Klean Kanteen is $x and a Thirsty Tote is $y and that is more money than I usually spend on personal hydration.” And then I would say, “LAME! Proper hydration is priceless. You can’t say, ‘I had lots of fun drinking those beers last night,’ if you’re not properly hydrated. No. Do you know what you say when you drank a lot of beers without being properly hydrated? You say, ‘My head hurts. Shut your damn kids up!’ And nobody wants that.”

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