I Like Faith
And I like tattoos. My friend Kristen just got her first-ever tattoo. If you follow me on Twitter, you know she regrets not getting inked while she was in prison, but now she has no regrets. Her tattoo is beautiful. And I don’t use that word lightly. I only use it for things that are truly beautiful, like donuts delivered right to your door. Oh, and babies. Some babies are beautiful. All of mine were. Some of yours probably are, too. Anyway, Kristen’s tattoo is beautiful. And now I want a new one.
I have a dumb cherub on my shoulder. It needs to die. When I was at Thrill Vulture with Kristen, I searched and searched for something that I liked enough to cover up that cherub. I asked myself, “What do you like? Why don’t you know what you like?” I finally realized that I like faith and I like humor. While faith lends itself naturally to the tattoo art, humor really doesn’t, which is a bummer.
So me and Jesus? We tight. But, I don’t know if you can tell by reading my blog, I’m not really comfortable with Christianity as a whole. I have some issues. Issues with trust and with people and with arbitrariness and with, oh, lots of stuff. In spite of my many, many issues, I think I’m going to go with the classic nice-looking cross with one of my favorite verses on it. Here are my choices:
John 8:7 Jesus says, “What, like you’ve never done a shit thing? Line up, we’re gonna stone you too. That’s what I thought. Don’t be a dick.“
Matthew 7:1 Jesus says, “Dude, you’re an ass, too. I can say that about people because I’m the Son of God, but you can’t say that cuz you suck. Don’t be a dick.“
Matthew 5:3-12 “It’s so much more awesome to not be a dick than it is to be a dick.“
Romans 14:22 “Believe stuff, but don’t be a dick about it.”
I’m not sure what translation that is. I think maybe it’s the “Jesus, what’s your favorite curse word?” edition by James Lipton from “Inside the Actor’s Studio.” Jesus’ favorite curse word is absolutely “dick.” Or maybe “Jesus H. Christ.” Either way.
So now I’m saving my pennies and looking at tats. I suppose I could always go with Snowman Jesus, but I don’t want to offend anyone. People are touchy about that kind of thing.
September 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
I vote for Matt 5:3-12
and funny, all this time I thought dick was short for Richard.
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September 17th, 2009 at 10:34 am
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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September 17th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Okay, I want to RT that on Twitter, but I see you have a little locky symbol on there, so maybe you don’t want me to do that. Hmm.
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September 17th, 2009 at 10:42 am
First of all, if Wikipedia is right, then Cherubs are:
Cherubs are described as winged beings. The biblical prophet Ezekiel describes the cherubim as a tetrad of living creatures, each having four faces: of a lion, an ox, an eagle, and a man. They are said to have the stature and hands of a man, the feet of a calf, and four wings. Two of the wings extended upward, meeting above and sustaining the throne of God; while the other two stretched downward and covered the creatures themselves.
They sound Fricking AWESOME!!!!! Not dicks at all!
You know, you basically evangelized just now. I went and looked up all of those passages. I knew the first two.
How about the speck and beam passage (Matt 7:3)
Oh, I LOVE the red letter treatment. I do like Matt: 7:1 though
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September 17th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Oh, and those who know you believe you and Jesus be tight. The disconnect is that many folks don’t see the division between faith and religion. Christianity, Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, etc. are all based on faith, but are constructs of humanity. They are organizations of men and women and will have the same failings as any organization of men and women.
Just my $0.02
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September 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Who could be offended by Snowman Jesus? The very thought boggles my mind!
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September 17th, 2009 at 11:00 am
I like the fourth one. I think that sums up all the important stuff. But tattoos still squick me out. I am against them and am glad that Jews aren’t allowed to get them. (I may not keep kosher and I may have shrugged off that whole circumcision suggestion or command or whatever you call it, but I am down with the whole NO TATTOOS thing.)
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September 17th, 2009 at 11:16 am
@ Dawn. I am on board with the tattoo thing. I would like to have one actually, but… I am SO paranoid of the chance (no matter how small) of a bad outcome..
Besides, I am not sure what I would get or where.
Abby: Thorn has given a thought: Could the Cherub be converted to Snowman Jesus??
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September 17th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
pretty sure that’s the translation i’ve been looking for.
i like the first verse best.
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September 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I really like Matthew 5:3-12 too!
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September 17th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Told hubby about this and I got a big LOL and he’s not always a LOL person
(I just used JesusHChrist on a post at Huffington and it made some lady mad at me. You can see Jesus in a business suit when you write it, can’t you? I can.
)
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September 18th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Karen, absolutely. With business cards and everything: Jesus H. Christ, Esquire.
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September 18th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Kjames, I don’t know why that translation is so hard to find. Must be popular.
Dawn, “circumcision suggestion” hahahaha. You go, Jew!
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September 18th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
either that or it’s out of circulation. which, i find hard to believe.
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