Sorry Eddie, I Choose Eminem

I’ve been reading memes lately because I have nothing better to do, and I want everybody to know that they can start calling me by my porn name (1st pet, street I grew up on), which is Pooty Corunna. Also, I know you’re wondering Who I Would Choose to Write the Song of My Life. I’ve thought about it a lot and I’ve decided I would choose Eminem. I think he’s funny when he’s not being scary and I would like to see, given my entire life story, who he would choose to stab. Also, he grew up in Detroit and I once went to a La Leche League conference in Detroit so I feel him.

You probably guessed I would choose Eddie Vedder, right? I would have, except I don’t think the song of my life should be a love song and Eddie would have a really hard time writing anything other than a love song if I were the subject. Because he loves me. He already wrote that great line in Black for me “I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a sun in somebody else’s sky, but why, why, whyyyyyyyy can’t it be, why can’t it beeeee miiiiine?” Any more than that would just be embarrassing.

Happy Saturday.

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This entry was posted by Abby on February 21, 2009 at 10:36 am, and is filed under I'm not good at categorizing. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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#1 written by Tracey 2 years ago

You are such a dork.

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#2 written by Abby 2 years ago

You’re just jealous because your porn name is Casey Line or some such shit. Maybe Casey Corunna. It has alliteration, but it doesn’t make me want to see you naked. Not like Pooty Corunna!

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#3 written by amazonmidwife 2 years ago

*mourns* My porn name is Flop Collins. (yep, I grew up on Collins Ave.) Or it would be Flop Johnson if I used my mom’s maiden name. Either way, it’s an unsuccessful pornstar name. But the dog was cool— a beagle who ate jelly beans and drank beer and almost bit the mailman when he tried to come on the porch where I was napping in a playpen.

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#4 written by Kathi D 2 years ago

You know, the first time I heard Eddie Vedder sing that, I thought to myself, “I wonder who he’s talking about?” and then a little voice in my head said, “I think I heard something like ‘Stretchy Pants’ but that doesn’t make sense” but now it does. Whew.

My porn name is Ginger Hess. And I endorse your choice of Eminem, except where has he been? I often hum “White America” to myself in public places, bursting into song at “I go on TRL, lookit all the hugs I get” and it’s weird how sometimes people look at me funny.

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#5 written by Tonya 2 years ago

Coco Sharon

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#6 written by Tony 2 years ago

Nikki Ridge (that is so wrong…)
I found a porn name generator (don’t know the algorithm but…)
Using Tony, I become Captain Jiggles

Anthony? Rick Strokum

And… the internet… what a wonder-world

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#7 written by Abby 2 years ago

@amazonmidwife I’m sorry you have a bad porn name, but I’m glad Flop was a good dog.

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#8 written by Carol 2 years ago

My porn name is Fajita Canal which sounds like slang for pelvic inflammatory disease. Ouch! I don’t think anyone wants to look at that.

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#9 written by Carol 2 years ago

The missing comma in my post is killing me. Fajita Canal would not care about such things.

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