Archive for February, 2009
One-A-Day Teen (Sexist) Advantage Vitamins! Yay!
18One A Day wants to teach your teen daughter what should really be important to her: her skin! Not yucky muscles! Only gross girls have muscles! Ew! How about your teen son? What should be important to him? His muscles of course! He wouldn’t want to be called a wimp! He needn’t worry about his skin; that’s for the gay boys. (Fine, the ad does not imply homophobia, however, it’s still a put-you-in-a-box-sorted-by-gender kind of thing, which, as you know, I hate.)
We usually dvr everything we watch, so we very rarely see commercials these days. Thanks to our pre-dvr days and my distaste of gender- and race-based boxes and limitations and whatnot, Lena and Liberty are very marketing savvy and when they were much younger, they would regularly lament the lack of girls in a Matchbox commercial or lack of boys in a My Little Pony commercial or whatever, which also led to discussions about the lack of people of color in advertising and how sometimes society’s views of what girls and boys should do and be is narrow-minded and makes people sad if they don’t fit with those stereotypes. Promoting these stereotypes also makes people less likely to stand up for people who are “different” by the media’s standards, which is supremely uncool. So a couple of days ago when we accidentally watched some live tv and had to suffer through the pain of 2 whole minutes of commercials, this One-A-Day for teens ad came on, and our household being the way it is, we all gasped and talked about it for the next 2 days. Good times.
I love that Lena, Liberty, and even Maya are sensitive to these things. When Liberty was about 7 she drew a picture of a black ninja. Her name was Saga and Liberty said, “I want to make a tv show about a black girl who is a ninja because there aren’t any and what if they think they can’t be a ninja?” And I think that’s compassionate. Pointing out injustices in the media makes them sensitive to injustice in general, which means they don’t bat an eye when somebody goes against the stereotypes and maybe they even feel like they could stand up for somebody who is being ridiculed for going against “normal.” They don’t shame a little boy for playing with My Little Ponies, they don’t shame a little girl for playing with Matchbox cars. They are more open-minded than most adults and it makes me proud.
Recently, we’ve been having conversations about how blonds are portrayed on tv. They’re either “mean or dumb” according to the girls, with the exception of Maddie on Suite Life of Zack and Cody. They see these portrayals and because they know that those stereotypes are wrong and narrow-minded they don’t internalize the messages, which I think might be the biggest benefit of teaching them about these things. Instead of seeing those images and saying, “That’s how I’m supposed to be; what’s wrong with me that I don’t feel that way?” They say, “Whoever wrote that is closed-minded and I’m going to write something better.” And that’s how the world changes. That’s right, I just said my kids are going to change the world. Who’s with me?
By the way, Lena, Liberty, and Maya came up with a perfect solution for One-A-Day: Why not have One-A-Day Teen: Skin Care Formula, One-A-Day Teen: Strength Building Formula, One-A-Day Teen: Brain-Boosting Formula, etc. with gender-neutral colors on the packaging? PR people, are you listening? They’re not even 10 and they’re smarter than you.
“Firsts” with Pictures, Bitches!
11You guys, I really can’t think of things to blog about right now, ok? We’re trying to buy a house and stuff. I’m not trying to say I care about that more than I care about you, but I’m trying to say memes are the bomb for preoccupied bloggers. One question before we begin: Am I the only one who thinks Kate from that Jon and Kate Plus 8 child labor show got a boob job? Nothing super outrageous, just a little lift perhaps? I noticed that they were looking very much like pre-baby boobs in the last episode and (here’s the clincher, in case you were wondering) she was holding her arms in front of her body a lot in a self-conscious, my-boobs-are-sticking-out-farther-than-I’m-used-to kind of way. I’m not judging, I’m just wondering if I was the only one who spent all of the “Puppies!” episode staring at Kate’s boobs. In a friendly way.
Ok, so another meme. sort of. The Firsts meme that’s going around made me think of the first time I was in a wedding and the first time my daughters were in a wedding and the fact that each of us was 4 years old for our first trip down the aisle.
I was in my Aunt Becky and Uncle Hal’s wedding with my 2nd cousin, Jarod, as the adorable ring bearer. You’d be hard-pressed to find a cuter flower girl/ring bearer combo:

Later, I tried to strangle him:

I think his doe eyes made me feel all huntressy. And that’s my big brother on the left. Nice haircut.
Here’s another adorable combo. It’s Maya and her cousin, Hudson when they were in my brother’s wedding. We don’t actually have a pic of them together, but these two pictures really capture their personality:


Those 4 kids were cute, but if you really want to add some cute factor to your wedding, put some twins in it like Bryan’s cousin Tonya did. That shit is cute and I swear the whole congregation will gasp:

*gasp* Awwww!
Oh, you want to hear about my first alcoholic beverage? How about I show you instead:

Kidding! The back of the picture says “pop in the beer can.” The back of the picture gives no clues as to the reason for the hat on a stick, however.
Everything Old is New Again
5At my fit-throwing insistence, Dawn made my blog pretty, and then I undid it all. I missed Liberty’s “Mom Running” picture being in my header so I had to change it back. But I changed the color and the font! So it’s still kind of fresh and new. That’s something.
You might have missed it, but I chose a different, actually more appropriate, pic for the new blog header. It was a pretty sidewalk type thing with a gas line thing that said “Gas” right on it. Definitely fitting since I hardly ever blog about running and I am full to the brim with all kinds of gas, literal and figurative. (Don’t pretend like you don’t have gas, too. You do and you know it. Do you think you’re better than me? You might be, but you still have gas.)
The Sundays with Stretchy Pants title does have to do with running, though, so Liberty’s drawing goes with the title. My long-run day is Sunday and I always, always put on stretchy pants after a long run because they feel so good on my sore legs. But I started a new training program today! And my long-run day will be Saturday. Which means Saturday will be my stretchy pants day. And you have no idea how it pains me that my blog title won’t actually fit my life anymore. I’m not usually particular about things, but it just feels wrong. Anyway.
Here’s something fun: My pretend friend, Kathi D, has a new meme up that she stole from somebody and I’m stealing it from her. Google your name, preceded by “unfortunately” and see what you get. Fun.
Unfortunately Abby causes quite a stir when she arrives there. “And you know we don’t serve Negroes in here. Have you forgotten your place?
I do love race issues and I would totally cause a stir if somebody, after mistaking me for a black woman, refused to serve me. I would Twitter that shit all over the place and they’d have one hell of a clusterf*ck up in there.
Unfortunately Abby is my real name. Actually, it’s Abigail, but I’m no hair-splitter. It’s unfortunate either way.
Abby’s up against her rival Belinda Fishcake in a talent contest …unfortunately Abby has a voice that can peel paint, and the brace doesn’t help either! True and true. Well, I don’t wear a brace, but I do have a mild case of scoliosis. That Belinda Fishcake was always a bitch.
Unfortunately, Abby had some trouble delivering this litter and three of the six puppies were stillborn. That was a very painful time in my life and I’d rather not talk about it. Actually, the painful part of this one is that it reminds me of the fact that my own aunt had a dog named Abby. It’s a popular dog name.
Unfortunately, Abby missed out on seeing Hi5 because she was so sick. I was faking. I don’t know what hi5 is, but it sounds lame.
Unfortunately Abby is crying in her sleep while I am writing this. I haz a sad.
Unfortunately, Abby Littleton had decided that visibility at those same functions was good for her career. I never took my clothes off at those so-called “functions,” and those pictures on your cell phone are fake!
Unfortunately Abby made a big mistake and said that the picture was inappropriate. Again, fake.
Unfortunately, Abby has inherited my eyes. Thanks Dad.
Abby tells a rather upset Gibbs that Rowens is telling the truth, she didn’t write the emails. Unfortunately, Abby doesn’t know who did. I’m lying; I do know who wrote them, but it was my evil twin and I want to protect her. Even though she’s a bitch.
Sorry Eddie, I Choose Eminem
9I’ve been reading memes lately because I have nothing better to do, and I want everybody to know that they can start calling me by my porn name (1st pet, street I grew up on), which is Pooty Corunna. Also, I know you’re wondering Who I Would Choose to Write the Song of My Life. I’ve thought about it a lot and I’ve decided I would choose Eminem. I think he’s funny when he’s not being scary and I would like to see, given my entire life story, who he would choose to stab. Also, he grew up in Detroit and I once went to a La Leche League conference in Detroit so I feel him.
You probably guessed I would choose Eddie Vedder, right? I would have, except I don’t think the song of my life should be a love song and Eddie would have a really hard time writing anything other than a love song if I were the subject. Because he loves me. He already wrote that great line in Black for me “I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a sun in somebody else’s sky, but why, why, whyyyyyyyy can’t it be, why can’t it beeeee miiiiine?” Any more than that would just be embarrassing.
Happy Saturday.
Some Awesome Things
2I get all of my awesome things from the internet. Here are some of this week’s most awesome:
Dawn is famous today. Her super essay about her open adoption is in a brand-new book called One Big Happy Family:18 Writers Talk About Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love by Rebecca Walker.
Also Dawn-related, this post over at her blog: The Night My World Caved in Read it and cry.
And also this post over at Mama(e) in Translation: Skinny is NOT Beautiful Ditto.
I have a love-hate relationship when it comes to talking about body image with children. I can talk to adults about the fact that even skinny kids are harmed by adults calling attention to their body type, and I have called people out on their skinny nickname for their daughter before, but if one of my daughters comes to me expressing woe about her body, I will stutter and stammer and fall all over myself to try to undo what was said, ultimately feeling lost and powerless because I know that this body image stuff is not easily undone. I just shared with you two blog posts from two different grown-ass women to prove it. (That’s proof right? I mean, they’re blog posts! Two of them!) It is so hard to undo the things that are said to a person because of something as fundamental as their body. I mean, we can’t get away from our bodies. Ever.
Anyway, go read those two posts and then learn how to be white and privileged and anti-racist all at once at Thoughts from a Foster Family: Can We Talk?
I always cringe when I hear people say, “I’m not racist!” because we’re all racist a little bit. We are. We try not to be and we learn and then we do better. It’s ok. It’s better to admit it and try to move on and then keep learning to do even better.
Um, yeah, I just realized that I found all of those great posts on Dawn’s google share thingy or her Facebook links. This post is all about Dawn and her amazing ability to both write and read awesome things. Thanks Dawn!
It’s Thursday, you can’t expect coherence on Thursday. It’s pretty much the weekend. Goodbye.

