It's like Tuesdays with Morrie without all the wisdom
Archive for September, 2008
Things I Love So F*cking Much
2September 19, 2008
by Abby
in I have a friend
1. Electricity. I got some, bitches!
2. Dawn. She works my blogs and she invites me to free spaghetti dinners. And she makes me laugh.
3. Kristen. She makes her husband deliver coffee to me and she sets up free coffee for her neighbors because she has a generator. And she makes me laugh.
4. My other friends here and in Chesaning, and my extended family. They invite me to do laundry at their house and they invite me to stay with them and use up their electricity in order to get me to shut up with the whining. They remind me that I’m very lucky to have several places to which I could flee if I really needed to. And they make me laugh.
5. My husband and children. They’re just awesome. Bryan’s awesome because he puts up with me for-evah! And he’s cute. And the kids are awesome because, well, they’re 50% me. I’m kidding! They’re their own little bundles of funny electricity-addicted awesomeness. And they make me laugh.
6. Margaret Cho. Thanks to Dawny for this link because I couldn’t have said it better myself. And it makes me laugh: I’m Christian You Fuckers
I Want to Go Home with a Capital “H”
12September 17, 2008
I’m not cut out for this apocalypse bullshit. We still have no power. It’s been since Sunday. Is it time for the cyanide pill yet? I do not have the wherewithal to withstand this kind of torture. I don’t have bootstraps with which to pull myself up, or any buck-uppiness for that matter. See, I’m a giver-upper. Yeah, yeah, I know it could be worse, and I don’t know how people get through actual tragedies. I’m just saying. This is my reality we’re talking about here. Mine. Yes, we can drive to places that have food and we have water. Even hot water. But we don’t have the teevee and the internets and I’m not the type of person who looks at my dependence on these things and says, “Hm. Maybe I depend too much on these things.” No, I look at my dependence on these things and go, “Um, it’s 2008. I need these things. I’m not Ma Ingalls. And if I were Ma Ingalls, I would’ve killed myself.”
On Monday when the whole Merrill Lynch/Lehman Brothers thing happened (google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about; I’m not wasting one second of my precious library computer time looking up links for you people. You people with electricity. I hate you people.) Anyway, when that happened, Bryan was freaking out about not being able to read it on the internet and we were both moaning with the pain of it all until I finally said, “Hey, why don’t we buy a newspaper?” And he said, “Oh my god, they still write stuff on paper! We’re saved!” And then we decided that the newspaper probably only had news that was like 12 hours old or something and that wouldn’t do. And then we held each other and cried.
Yes, Dawn, I’m Going to Blog It.
3September 11, 2008
by Abby
in I like Columbus
I went to Skully’s last night to support Dawn in launching the Short North’s Highball Halloween event. It’s gonna be awesome! Like Mardi Gras. Columbus is a great place for something like this. Dawn did great, the whole thing was cool, and I met Dawn’s mentor who told me about this video. I laughed so hard and Dawn said, “You’re going to blog it, aren’t you?” And I said, “NO! I won’t blog it,” but then I remembered that my inlaws are coming tomorrow and I have to wash sheets and stuff, so here’s a video for you to enjoy.
I Don’t Know What CNN is Talking About
0September 10, 2008
by Abby
in I like politics?
Everybody just calm down! Sometimes Wonkette is just silly, but lots of times, they’re really smart. Like this. I was going to look for something like that today, but it was already in my Google Reader this morning. Yay! Too lazy to click over? Oh, it’s just an electoral map that’s very comforting to people like me after watching CNN freak out about the McCain/Palin bump in the polls. I guess they have to freak out about something. It can’t all be sunshine and puppy kisses. Who would watch that? I would, that’s who. I love sunshine! Puppy kisses are ok if the puppy doesn’t have puppy breath. (Sorry Kathi D. I know I just risked losing you as a reader. Please don’t leave me! I love watching puppies kiss other people, I swear.)
Hm, I wish for your sake that I had something else to tell you. Oh, I know: If you know any preschoolers and you want to try to buy their affection with material things, head over to Kids Know Stuff to win a free dvd of Jim Henson’s The Blue Elephant. That way, you don’t even have to buy anything in order to win the preschooler’s affection. Win-win! Just like the election.
I’ve Missed You, Junie B.
5September 9, 2008
I like Junie B. Jones. I know a lot of people don’t like the fact that she talks like a Kindergartener or a First Grader, but I think she’s cute. There, I said it. I love being controversial on my blog.
It’s been a long time since Lena and Liberty were into Junie B., but, thanks to a life-size poster in our library, Maya has jumped on the Junie bandwagon with full force. She’s been checking out book after book and listening quietly to chapter after chapter. This is kind of a big deal because Maya has never been the “listening quietly” type. Never. Goodnight Moon? Feh. The Runaway Bunny? Boring! But Junie has a hold on her. Maybe it’s because Maya has a bit of a speech problem, so she feels she can relate to Junie B? Whatever the reason, she’s hooked. And a lot of my day is spent with her following me around saying any of a number of versions of, “Remember when Junie B. lost her furry mittens and then she was sad and then she went to the lost and found and then she didn’t find them yet and then she wanted that backpack that wasn’t even hers? That was funny!” And I totally agree. It was funny!
I got nothing else today. I’m tired and it’s raining and Sarah Palin is still making my ovaries act all rebellious. I swear, it’s like they’re trying to get out so they can use the fallopian tubes to strangle somebody. Probably John McCain. Will the Secret Service read that and think I’m serious? I hope my ovaries don’t go to jail. Or maybe I hope they do go to jail. I can’t decide.
