I like tv that gots killin’ in it and whatnot, and when I watch it on AMC, I can feel like a smarty.

AMC is showing re-runs of season 1 of Breaking Bad and it is the best show on tv right now. Maybe second best next to a show Dawn introduced us to: Randy Jackson’s America’s Best Dance Crew (careful with that link, depending on what ad MTV is running, it could be NSFW, unless you work at Hooters).

Don’t judge my tv tastes by the fact that I like a show on MTV. Breaking Bad is good, I swear. I’ve only seen 1.3 episodes, but it has the dad from Malcolm in the Middle in it playing a boring science teacher with inoperable lung cancer who decides to cook and sell meth (I don’t know why because I didn’t see the entire pilot. I’m sure he has a good reason.) It’s an excellent show all on its own, but I think picturing my own high school science teacher cooking meth and very clumsily handling a gun makes it that much more entertaining.

My science teacher was, like most nerds, a bit socially awkward. His face was expressionless. Always. His speaking voice was expressionless. Always. And his lectures were boring as the day is long. Always. There was no Bill Nye the Science Guy at CHS. Nerds are one thing, but boring nerds? Come on. Mr. Reer looked like Wolf Blitzer, only even uglier with a constant stream of halitosis-ized spittle on his lips and facial hair. Disgusting. His breath and slobber were so bad and made such an impression on me that I just gagged a little bit when I typed that. During one class, when a smart-ass kid thought he would be funny by offering him a Tic Tac, Mr. Reer said in the flattest affect you have ever heard, “Why would I want a Tic Tac? That would ruin my bad breath,” and then he stood there waiting for an answer. The kid was like, “uh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” and slinked away in shame, never to be heard from again. Somehow, Mr. Reer (what an unfortunate name for a teacher) tricked somebody into marrying him and they had a son who was around my age. I remember just looking at that kid and being absolutely fascinated by the fact that he had this dad with this terrible condition and wondering things like, do they talk about the halitosis at the dinner table? When Mr. Reer would read bedtime stories, would he wear a mask if the boy just couldn’t handle the smell? Does his wife just not care about the smell or do they never, ever kiss? Does Mr. Reer get sad about his breath? I mean, 5 feet away, in normal conversational tones, his breath was like a brick wall. I think I’m trying to say that he had bad breath. And he was boring. I don’t know why his home life still fascinates me to such a degree, but when I watch Breaking Bad I find myself hoping, really hoping that Mr. Reer had some sort of secret life like Bryan Cranston’s character. And maybe that secret life was so exhausting and all-consuming that he couldn’t bring himself to brush his teeth, let alone show a hint of emotion during the school day. Poor disgusting Mr. Reer. I hope he was the mastermind behind Saginaw County’s big gypsum weed scare in the 80s. (I couldn’t find any news clips about that, but I seem to remember our local anchors leading with, “Kids is gettin’ high from the weeds in the ditch!”)

Anyway, Breaking Bad on AMC. Good show. Some killing. Some recreational drug use. Some nerd stuff, but not the boring kind. Very educational.

Bookmark me!
SubscribeBloglinesDiggdel.icio.usFacebookStumbleUponTechnorati