Oh, Sally Kern. Don’t you know that the Bible says lots of silly things that shouldn’t be taken so darn seriously? It is offensive when you say that homosexuals are a bigger threat to this country than terrorists. People don’t like that. You also said, “According to God’s word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle.” Maybe next time you give a hateful speech, you should focus on what is the right kind of lifestyle according to God’s word. This might save you some time, too, because sometimes listing the things that are apparently abhorrent to God takes such a long time. I mean, the list could get pretty long what with Leviticus outlining all of the different types of handicapped people that are not allowed near God. Who has that kind of time? To get you started, here is a partial list of activities that, according to God’s word, encompass the “right kind of lifestyle.”

  • Murder (mostly illegal, but in the right context, it’s totally ok. Moses, Samson, I’m talking to you)
  • Genocide (it’s important to remember to kill not only the men, but the women, children and animals too. Joshua, Moses, Saul, you little scamps)
  • Incest (Abraham and Sarah? I can see you blushing from here. Don’t worry, you’re hardly alone.)
  • Polygamy and concubines (adultery is a no-no, but if you have a concubine or some bonus wives, that’s quite different)
  • Slavery (especially ok if you’re selling your daughter to pay off a debt)

I’m just saying. Maybe people will respond to you more favorably (i.e. less death threats) if you tell them what God likes instead of what He doesn’t like. Try that next time and let me know how it all turns out. Take care!

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