It's like Tuesdays with Morrie without all the wisdom
Archive for April, 2007
We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!
2I said I would go gay for my Nike + iPod and I meant it. However, I was messing around with the settings and found that I could switch the sultry female voice to a male voice. I figured it would be worth a shot because we gays have no rights and that blows. This way, I could still get married and stuff. I started out on my run with my new male voice “cheering” me along, but it just didn’t work out. When he announced that I had completed my first mile, I swear to God he rolled his eyes. I could hear it. Also, when he announced that I had made it to my half-way point, there was no excitement and pride in his voice. He was like, “Half-way point. Finally.” At the end when he told me my distance, time, and average pace, he actually laughed at me. Not right out loud, but still. At best he sounded bored, at worst he mocked me. I’m going back to the chick. She gets me. She really gets me.
Dear Abby,
Do you think maybe you need more therapy?
Love,
Nike + iPod
Dear Nike + iPod,
What for?
Love,
Abby
BFF
3April 24, 2007
Dear Nike + iPod,
I love you so much. I’m telling you the same thing I’ve told my children: As soon as I had you, I couldn’t remember what I ever did without you. I love the way you tell me how far I’ve run and how far I have to go in your soothing lilt. You tell me my pace, always without judgement, and for that I’ll always love you. When you say, no, exclaim that I’ve made it to my half-way point, I know you’re cheering me on and I can hear the smile in your voice. I would go gay for you, Nike+iPod.
A special thank you to Bryan for having the wisdom to give my beloved Nike+iPod to me for our anniversary on April 13th instead of waiting 3 entire weeks until my birthday. Stay cool, Bryan.
