Last One, I Promise
Oh, hi. I know this isn’t a political blog, but I have just one more thing to say and then I’ll get back to crap that doesn’t matter.
All of these election issues (the real ones, not the fake ones) make my head spin. For every economist who slams McCain’s plans, there’s another who slams Obama’s plans. It’s all just theory and hope (sweet, sweet hope) right now and nobody knows for sure what will happen if either of these candidates is elected.
Here’s what I do know: I’m a person. I have thoughts. I have a body. I have a life. And when people chip away at my person-hood by taking away my own very personal rights, it makes people think I’m less than a whole person. It happens subtly, but it happens. It happens in homes where sons are put on pedestals and daughters are put in boxes. It happens when a grandfather laments that there’s no one to carry on the family name because he has only granddaughters (sure granddaughters are great, but what about the name?). It happens when a teacher chooses over and over again to call on the boys in the class, allowing the girls to continue to hide within their ever-thickening shells. These girls don’t know their worth because the world thinks they’re worthless.
It happens when a woman of child-bearing age is passed over for a job because she is only seen as a fertile uterus who will need to breed soon, causing all sorts of HR issues (forget about paid leave, what if she wants on-site daycare? Horrors.) And it happens when a childless woman of a certain age is looked at with pity because people see her as a barren uterus that missed out on the only worthwhile thing that could’ve brought purpose to her life. We are more than our uteruses, but it’s hard to see it that way when we’re not even in charge of the ones right inside our bodies.
Let’s not get me started on violence against women not being taken seriously. I’m feeling very dark and gloomy, but even I don’t want to bring you down that far.
Here’s the thing, I have the right to decide to have my baby or not. I do. It’s ok if you don’t believe in abortion. It’s ok if you would never, ever have an abortion. You just need to believe that we all have the right to make our own decision about this really big thing. Because, you know what? If you don’t believe that, then you eventually have a hard time believing other things about my basic rights. For instance, did you know that I have the right to choose my very own favorite method of birth control and I should really have the right to be able to obtain it just as easily as crusty old dudes can obtain their vi@gra? It’s true. Do you know why I should have this right? Because I’m a person. Also, I have the right to be paid equal money for equal work. Guess why? Because I’m a person. Remember when black people first started being able to vote, only their votes were only worth 2/3 of a vote? Yeah, that was mean. And that’s the kind of thing that happens when people think you’re not a person. You end up with no voice.
Women are people. And Obama knows it.
(Most of these links came very handy-dandy like from this post at MOMocrats. And one of them came from my husband. I’ll give you one guess which one. It’s the one that is about something that starts with econ- and ends with -zzzzzz.)
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:02 am
woRd
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:17 am
Truths are fun. Like the one where women are half-people that can amazingly give birth to full-persons. Like men. Oh, whoops. My mistake. *That’s* the lie.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:34 am
What Alissa said.
I really enjoy your politically-charged entries. I have written about 10 different election-themed posts in my head since the Palin thang began but with all the new developments I keep getting off track. But I’m glad you’re coming through for us.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:44 am
I think I like you. Lots.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 am
Amen! And yay for this post!
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:14 am
I really hate politics, since there does not seem to be a political party for me. I agree with the Dems on some things and the Reps on other, and sometimes with neither of them. It really drives me crazy when elected officials only vote the way their party votes and never think for themselves.
Not to put a strain on our friendship, but while I agree with you on some things, I don’t on others. I agree that all women AND men /girls AND boys (boys are not help accountable enough for unexpected pregnancies) should have easy access to birth control. If they are able/doing the deed, they should be able to protect themselves and their partners. And don’t kid me…there are 10 year olds out there doing the deed.
But, I strongly believe that as soon as sperm meets egg, that is a human being. It may be a human being that isn’t wanted, but it is a human being. If we are allowed to kill our children in fetus stage, we should be able to kill them outside the uterus as well. We know that is wrong, so why should we be able to stop their life while they are still protected inside us?
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:22 am
@Erin The trouble is, not everybody believes that as soon as sperm meets egg, it’s a human being. Shouldn’t we all have the ability to decide what we believe about conception and live our lives accordingly? While I don’t judge anybody who has had to go through the decision-making process that would lead them to choose abortion, I know that I could never* make the decision to have an abortion. But I think it’s my choice and nobody else’s.
Don’t worry, friendship not strained.
*I don’t know about “never.” If I were raped and pregnant because of it, I don’t know what I would do. I can’t even imagine.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:29 am
See, Erin, this is why we can never go to an Indigo Girls concert together. Kidding! (See: lame Diary of a Mad Housewife blog entry reference.)
I have to give props to Erin for speaking her mind, because while I don’t agree with her, I know how hard it is to share an opposing opinion among friends. And kudos to Abby for being equally cool.
I have a Jesus rant that I want to put on my blog but I’m scared that it will offend my more committed Christian pals. So hats off to you strong chicks.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 am
@Erin I’ve been thinking about what I believe about when sperm meets egg for a bit now because my politics on the pro-choice vs. pro-life thing have evolved over the years (coincidentally, this evolution has happened alongside a huge change with regard to my thoughts about my own self-worth, but that’s another story for another time). So since I responded to your comment earlier, I’ve been mulling it over and trying to decide if I really still believe that it is a human being when sperm meets egg, and the truth is, I do. In my very emotional heart, a heart that had the luxury of planning each of my pregnancies with my husband whom I love dearly, I do believe it’s a human being when sperm meets egg. But, and this is a giant but, I have to concede the fact that it’s debatable and there are plenty of people who do not believe that an embryo or a fetus are human beings. And that’s the problem with taking choice away from women. Some chicks don’t believe it and our choices can not be foisted upon them. Some chicks don’t dig the homeschooling and I don’t want anybody making that decision for me, either. Know what I mean?
Still, no strain here. Just wanted to put it out there that I’m down with your gig. Mostly.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 am
Awww, don’t quit writing about politics now! So what if this isn’t a political blog? Mine isn’t either. But our blogs are about what’s going on in our lives. And every 4 years, part of what is going on for us is the fact that we have to make a big political decision. Making that decision means that we need to discuss it and tell our stories about it. This brave, maybe not-so-new blogosphere is a great place to do just that. So, blog politically on as long as you want—you’re good at it, and you’re a part of helping people make their own decisions.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:36 am
If this topic was easy it wouldn’t be debated, everyday. There are lots of us who struggle with split party love. People are very individual and can not always be represented mentally by a BLUE or RED label. My beliefs, although right for me and my family, are not always the ones for others. The problem with making things illegal is that often people will break the law any way and make things even worse for themselves. As long as we agree to disagree and respect each other’s opinions we are making progress for ourselves and our gender.
Abby, your grasp of the political arena is inspiring. Don’t stop speaking your mind because you state it so well. Of course, you do come to mind when the McCain spokespersons talk about the “Liberal Blogosphere”. That phrase makes me see your face, everytime.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Wow. Great discussion and although I don’t want to get into either I’m coming from Erin’s side with the there is “no political party for me” and when sperm meets egg you gotta baby. Mother nature does her own sweet job in spontaneously aborting those that are not the “fittest”. Yet, you make it illegal and you’ve got the coat hangers, or worse, back. I’m all about teaching these 10 year olds to use a condom. I gotta go do yoga now, for real.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:05 pm
the issue of being less than a whole person only pertained to slaves (is what i thought i learned in 5th grade). the south wanted black slaves to count as persons, so that they would have a larger piece of the house of representatives (and electoral college?),
and the north wanted slaves not counted at all. has nothing to do with actual suffrage, cause fer instance women were counted, and had no suffrage. if slaves were to count in that kind of a census, the south could just up the number of slaves, and overwhelm the house of representatives.
h.s. ema,
who is not guaranteeing that stuff she learned 30some years ago is correct,
in fact, cant guarantee WHAT she learned those many years ago
September 4th, 2008 at 2:16 am
I have thought a lot about this (hasn’t every woman?) and although I never got pregnant, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t personally be able to have an abortion. In case of violent rape? Maybe.
However, my personal choice is a CHOICE and I wouldn’t deny others that choice.
I don’t believe that there is anyone who is “pro-abortion.” I believe that rational people want adequate birth control readily available, and abortions to be rare. Often it seems that “pro-life” people also want birth control to be hard to get. Doesn’t make sense to me.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:04 am
@h.s. ema My bad. Thanks for the correction, though. I’m off to fire my fact checkers and order A Cartoon History of the United States. Maybe then I’ll be able to retain some info. What I remember about US History from 15 years ago, is staring at my teacher and marveling at the fact that somebody so boring was indeed a living, breathing person. It seemed an impossible paradox.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:05 am
@everybody I’m so proud to have such smart, civil, brave commentors. You’re all awesome.
September 21st, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Does this really have to be your last political post because that was great? I totally agree with everything that you said.
September 21st, 2008 at 12:26 pm
@Renee No, I lied. *blush* I keep yapping about it.
Thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked it.
October 1st, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I think I am the first male to respond to this post (guessing by names of other commenters… please don’t hang me for my assumption if not the first).
Choice… Tough one for me. On one hand, I am adopted. I am so thankful that my birth mother did not abort me. Now, it was 1970 and she was 1-poor and 2-Catholic, so probably not really an option. I realize that when abortion was illegal all that meant was those with money found a doctor to perform the procedure safely for a lot of cash and those without, well, the back alley stories are too well known.
While I am glad I was not aborted, and I believe life is at conception, I do see the other side of the argument. It is a very personal decision and generally I believe less government is better government. So, I lean towards choice, but informed choice. Informed= truthful information from both sides (IE… unwanted pregnancy can end in other than abortion AND women entering clinics where abortions are performed are NOT murders, whores, or evil… they are mothers, daughters, cousins, sisters, …)
BUT…VIAGRA vs. BIRTH CONTROL… you are comparing apples and oranges. Broke Dick (or erectile dysfunction) is a medical condition to be treated; being pregnant is not.
HOWEVER… if an insurance company will pay for a vasectomy, then they should provide coverage for the pill (or patch, etc) especially if the company would pay for a vasectomy reversal (then it is implicitly paying for non-permanent birth control).
Just my 2 pennies
October 1st, 2008 at 3:59 pm
It’s not comparing apples to oranges because the heart of both matters is the sex. Why should a man get his ED fixed so he can have all the sex he wants, while a woman can’t afford birth control in order to have all the safe sex she wants? When it’s easy for the man, it needs to be easy for the woman. No one would ever suggest that a man with ED will have to just live with it, while people tell women all the time that they’ll just have to abstain if they can’t afford good birth control. Apples to apples.