Would it Be Wrong?
Do you think the kids could review, say, wine on Kids Know Stuff? I mean, obviously they couldn’t drink it, but maybe they could tell everybody how much more fun their mommy is when she’s pouring a glass or two of Charles Shaw Merlot. And then maybe we could get free wine delivered to our door so I wouldn’t have to fight traffic to get to the nearest Trader Joe’s. It would be wrong to use the kids that way, wouldn’t it? *sigh* I thought so. How about if they could get me some free coffee? Still wrong? Bummer. I want some free mommy stuff. The Hannah Montana that’s playing in the background right now brings me no joy.
I’m trying to get on a new schedule for fall homeschooling. I’m all gung-ho and inspired in the fall, before the holidays come and I get complacent. And by “holidays” I mean Labor Day. Having a schedule involves actually scheduling things, which involves heart palpitations when I’m behind schedule. I don’t like that. But instead of abandoning the schedule, I’m going to just decide that it’s ok if I’m a little bit behind schedule from time to time. I tend toward the all-or-nothing, so if I have a schedule, I feel like it must be followed to the minute. That’s not true, though, right? I didn’t think so. Not in my line of work, anyway. Kids can feed themselves if they’re hungry and lunch is behind schedule. So says I. And if they don’t like that, they can try to figure out a way to get mommy some wine delivered right to her door. Then I would feed them on time. Probably.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
I think you should move to Europe where kids drink wine and coffee and therefore it would be okay for them to review it on Kids Know Stuff.
Bah to the schedule!
August 21st, 2008 at 12:06 am
No, girlfriend, you would not feed them on time. It would be 3-o-clock in the P.M. and A Haunting would have just ended on Discovery Channel, and you would say, “Oh, hey, have my children eaten?” And you would go downstairs and you would discover they had munched their way through a bag of Trader Joe’s multigrain snack cracker rice cake-like thingies plus string cheese and they would be moaning in hunger, crying, “Mommy, I’m soooo huuuuuungryyyy!” And you would say, “Gee, there are leftover brussel sprouts in the frige. Why don’t you eat those? If you were really hungry you would eat those!”
Stop.
In California, they call that Two-Buck Chuck.
Fin
(Jesus’s Strike Bowling Dance)
August 21st, 2008 at 6:52 am
Yeah-about that schedule, it’s 6:48 AM and I am on my second cup of coffee and still waiting for yesterdays cookie bar binge to leave me so I can get into my spandex (so I don’t jiggle so much) and get my much needed exercise! No laundry in-just someones long ass birth story read along with email. I am late.
August 21st, 2008 at 8:04 am
Hey, I just re-read my comment. It makes no sense. Sorry. I had knocked back a few and it was way past my bedtime! It’s not that I was so drunk I was talking (or writing, as it were) utter nonsense. It’s that I was just drunk enough for my inhibitions to be lowered and let my weirdness shine through unhindered.
August 21st, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@Alissa I think you’re comment made perfect sense and I’m not at all concerned about what that says about me.
August 21st, 2008 at 8:40 pm
I don’t know, I think everything goes better with wine. Of course, I have to admit that on those rare evenings that I have a glass or two before dinner we do end up eating a couple hours later than usual. Okay, so maybe the dinner thing doesn’t work but one thing that goes very well with wine is cleaning house. It’s much more enjoyable after the first glass.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
dude, i’m totally an all-or-nothing girl too and it sucks because i get all tripped up on myself. sometimes i think it helps if i just give a new name to whatever i’m getting all weird about.
for example, it’s not a meal PLAN (that i have to follow to the letter or get all bitchy about because i put so much WORK and THOUGHT into it), it’s a list of meal POSSIBILITIES!
sooo…maybe you could call it a guideline instead of a schedule?
or even a sort of table of contents for the day?
(also, wine delivery is definitely a service missing from columbus BUT ohio state pizza delivers beer at 10am!)
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Jen I’m totally changing the name. It’s not a schedule anymore, it’s a List That Is Definitely Not The Boss of Me.
@Colleen I’ll definitely keep house cleaning+wine in mind. Thanks!
@Kristen I hate waiting for the coffee to work. I’ve taken to counting on the running to work. Ew. TMI!