I Wear My Sunglasses at Night (in the bathroom)
Is there anything more degrading than getting splashed right in the eye with a little drop of water cast off from the toilet brush? This has happened to me twice, twice in my life, but both times were within the last 3 months. And both times were while cleaning my husband’s toilet. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, but whatever. Because of this, I have taken to wearing my sunglasses while toilet scrubbing. First, because I don’t have safety goggles. Second, because it makes me feel like a toilet-scrubbing diva. And if I’m going to scrub toilets, I might as well be able to look in the mirror and say, “Dahling, what are you doing here? You belong in a cafe, smoking long, thin cigarettes and drinking a caramel macchiato.” And I can answer myself by saying, “Yes, lovey, I know, but the conditions of my parole from my very sexy white-collar crime say I have to help out the poor by scrubbing their toilets.”
Pathetic? Sad? Yes and yes, but my toilets (and my eyes) are very clean. It can’t be helped.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:56 am
This has nothing to do with toilet scrubbing, but I have hit three birds with my car in my life and two of them were in the last two weeks. (I’m not counting the turkey I hit in 2006 because I’m pretty sure he had a death wish.)
So, what I’m thinking is: increased incidents of toilet water splashes + birds on the windshield = Armageddon.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I think Bryan should clean his own toilet.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I think Mechelle should shut it.
To be fair, Abby and the kids use that bathroom as much as I do. If it was only mine, I am sure Abby would never enter it.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
@Bryan Too true. Henceforth, I shall refer to the aforementioned toilet as the lower level toilet. And, if it were only yours, it would probably be cleaner than mine. More sad but true facts from the Aldrich house. *sigh*
@Mechelle He’s too busy making dinner and taking the kids to the pool so I can play with my internets. Trade-offs, etc.
@Carol I’m no Biblical scholar, but I’m pretty sure Rev. 19:17 refers to those 2 very incidents: “And I saw an angel standing in the sun, who cried in a loud voice to all the birds flying in midair, “Come, gather together for the great supper of God…”
Clearly, seeing an angel in the sun would make one squint, just like when I got toilet water in my eye. And the birds flying in midair part obviously refers to your tendency toward making the poor little things airborne with your vehicle.
July 16th, 2008 at 7:29 am
I am amazed at your ability to quote the bible!!!!
Be prepared for a Good Book quiz tonight.
Love your hooty tooty-ness!
July 16th, 2008 at 8:55 am
@Kristen Don’t be impressed. I’m just good at the Google-ing.
July 18th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I think you need a glass of wine perched on the toilet tank to complete the Cleaning Diva ensemble. You might want to cover the glass while you scrub though!