Plays to Win
And gets very giddy when she’s about to lay a Draw Four on your sorry ass. I know you can’t hear it, but she’s giggling like one of those viral video giggling baby things. This child is never happier than when she’s causing an opponent emotional pain during a heated game of Uno. Even if she doesn’t win, it’s enough that she made you draw, or skipped you, or reversed it away from you. And then you will hear about it for the rest of the day. “Remember when I skipped you? That was a good play! You couldn’t even go!” And when the tables turn, and you think you’re getting one up on her by giving her a Draw Two, she says, “OK, but you have to smell my feet!” She will punish you. She will punish you so hard.
Lena and Liberty and Bryan are all sick sickies today. Send patience. And listen to Handlebars by Flobots. Yummy for your brain.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Dear Maude woman,
Is there anything we can do for you? Send instructions wrapped in a twenty-dollar bill. Oh no, wait, just call if you need something!
April 28th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Thanks anyway, but if I had you fetching my groceries, how would I ever escape without guilt? I just keep hobbling over to Kroger a couple of times every day for a little sunshine and sustenance. Guilt-free, of course. And it feels so good.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:25 am
following random links I somehow arrived here! and i am glad that I did. i must say that your blog is even more amusing than that Dooce woman who has far too much money now and really should give some to me so that I can buy my husband his own house and then he will have to clean up after himself. or not. anyways, congrats on being an amusing homeschool mama blogger. I am going to homeschool my kiddies (girl4.5, boy2) so I will be looking out for some tips! have you always homeschooled or did you try school first?
April 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
And that is why I don’t play games with my kids.
April 29th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Hope everyone feels better soon, but not so soon you don’t get a few more outings to Kroger.
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
You won’t have to worry about her so much in the dating game - will you? I don’t know, that makes me smile and stand a little straighter or something being a girl and all myself. But wait, I have boys. Maybe I should warn them about girls like Maya. Someday.