I Have Big Underwear
“Really big underwear,” according to Maya. She’s a little household helper and every time she helps with the laundry, she reminds me that my underwear are really big. Ever since she could tell big from little, she has been pointing this out. I’m pretty sure she learned the difference between big and little by comparing my underwear to other household objects, like the oven and stuff. She’s bad for my self-esteem.
I think we’re all recovered from the birthday fun and the visit from my in-laws, which happened over the weekend. Bryan and I kind of forgot that they didn’t know about our plans to live in Columbus foreverandeverandever because we’ve been saying for 3 years that this was just a temporary thing. Oops. We were just chatting away and talking about things like, are we going to renew our lease when it’s up in June or is Bryan going to look for a job in Michigan and rent there or look for a house there and Bryan and I looked at each other and then looked back at them and I said, “Bryan screwed the license plates on the front of the cars,” by way of explanation. I thought it summed everything up perfectly, but I was met with blank stares and a look from my mother-in-law that said, “I’m adding this to the list of reasons that prove that this girl is retarded.” So we had to tell them in real words that we’re staying, which might have been a much harder conversation if they weren’t so good at blocking out things that just don’t go with what they truly truly want to believe. So they blocked it out and kept mentioning stuff about when we move back to Michigan. Denial can be a handy tool, I guess. Let me try:
My underwear aren’t that big.
Sweet. It totally works.
April 23rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I love it! Oh Maya, why can’t you move back to Michigan?
April 23rd, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I say you give up underwear because it’s like the tree falling in the forest thing. How big can non-existent underwear be? Talked to a woman today who felt you should look at Kenmore Park area if/when you’re ready to do more looking. (I still think the wait and see attitude is best.) It does look like a nifty neighborhood AND they have their own web site. http://kenmorepark.com/ The folks there call it Little Clintonville because that’s where the people outside the Clintonville price range are going. Now I have to quit thinking about houses for you because it gives me terrible house envy. Stupid house.
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Middling squeezes my arm wattle and calls it “mommy fat.” At least it isn’t “granny fat,” which he also likes to squeeze and slap around.
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
One day my household helper was folding the laundry and found some of my terribly dainty dainties. He folded everything else, but put the dainty item on Astrid’s head, saying, ” you never told me you bought a black headband before. You can’t even see the lace because it’s so dark–next time you should buy her a pink one.” Um, thanks household helper and fashion maven–glad you’re taking care of things for me!
I agree with Dawn–fly free!
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Hey, I just blogged about my kid bashing in my self-esteem, too!
Alissa sent me over here to say Hi
April 24th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Some time back we were all in the car and my daughter said “mom, when I get big i want big boobs like yours” since I don’t have big boobs I thought it was cute/sweet that she thought mine were big and told her “don’t worry…yours will grow when you get older” to which she replied “yes, I want them big like yours but not as droopy!” and then went on a monologue about how they were droopy and looked “dead” - yeah….she’s still alive!
April 24th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
At least she didn’t lay the big undies out on the kitchen table with a note reading, “Big Momma”. Thanks Molly!
April 29th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
OH, OH, OH, I am rolling on the floor laughing, I love it, I needed this laugh!! Thank you!
April 29th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Oh, and one more thing. You are so wise to stay here. All my in-laws live real close. So let me repeat that, you are so wise to stay here.