Speaking of Empowering…
Melissa just left a lovely comment about empowering these girls of mine, which is totally something we try to do. It would be awesome if it worked out that way. One of the empowering themes around here is that it’s ok to fight with people you love. This is tough for Lena to understand so it tends to come up a lot because she’s really trying to figure it out and I want her to know that it’s ok for her to say, “Hey, that’s not ok,” without worrying about hurting feelings because her feelings actually matter, too. And sometimes making your needs known can lead to fighting, but it’s ok. It’s ok! Everything’s ok. OK!
Turns out that it’s not so tough for Liberty to understand and I think she’s a little bit proud when she’s combative with her favorite people. It’s not a perfect system; we’re working on it. Both of them understood the issue in their own way until a stupid Disney channel show had the main character fighting and then making up with her best friend by saying, “We’re best friends; we shouldn’t fight.” And the audience said, “Awwww, clap clap clap,” and then Lena and Liberty panicked because that little sentence went against everything they had been taught for their whole life. But it was on tv and the audience seemed to agree! It took about 5 seconds for them to find me in the laundry room (or maybe I was napping or watching my stories on the other tv, who really knows?) and say, “Mom, should best friends fight?”
Stupid tv. Now we’ll be going over and over this in a million different ways from now until summer. And then they’re going to want to talk about my dad’s most recent divorce again, too. Don’t they understand that I tell them these things so they can discuss them amongst themselves, not so they can drag me into it all the time? I don’t understand how these things work. I’m not a healthy person! I shouldn’t be allowed to discuss it. *sigh* Stupid tv. I’m banning the Disney channel in favor of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. There’s no mistaking the family values of Squidbillies.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:50 am
TV is the devil, m’kay?
(See, that’s funny, ’cause I said it like Mr. Mackey from SouthPark… which is a show… on tv.)
Maybe kinda point out that what the TV means is that you shouldn’t say mean things? Like when you are trying to make your needs and feelings known… Like you don’t have to say “I don’t want to play that… and you SMELL BAD.” or what-have-you.
‘Course, I have no idea what I’m talking about, so…
–K
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:22 pm
We don’t have that particular issue around here because it’s all boys all the time. Except for me. I’m the doormat.
Will you be my mommy?
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I SO wish that my parents had taught me and my sister that it’s okay to fight with people you love/care about/know… maybe I would actually be able to stand up for myself and not feel like crap afterwards. Maybe my sister would not cry hysterically every time people “just aren’t getting along”. What a great thing you’re doing for your girls!
April 26th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Yep. Nothin’ like Squidbillies. It’s Zen really. Well, actually it’s not. But it’s really funny. Except for when you have people like that in your family that your mom tells you you are related to and they have names like Billie Jo and Bobby Sue and Punkin’ and Precious. Then it’s not funny at all. But you watch anyway and think, “Damn, they’ve got that accent DOWN!” I’m glad you liked my comment:-)