We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes
Happy Easter.
I have many friends. Rum is not one of them.
My mom is here for one more night, but my brother and sister-in-law and their 3 boys left earlier today after a couple of nights of proving that none of us are mature enough to be entrusted with housepets, let alone children. Bryan and I have so much fun with these people and we just lose our heads with the loveliness of it all and we can’t be trusted to just play cards and sip some wine like regular grown-ups. Here is a good rule to live by: When the wine is gone, you’ve had enough. Don’t go get your mom’s rum and decide that you think you can drink like a real drinker. You can’t. It will end badly. Sure, there will be lots of fun before it all goes badly (and during the part where it is going badly for you, your houseguests and husband might act like it’s the best part of the night. For they will still be laughing. And taking pictures of you going badly.)
Before it all started to go badly, though, I’m pretty sure that the 4 of us solved most, if not all, of the world’s problems. Pretty sure. We were so frickin’ smart last night! You don’t even know.
And the daylight hours were precious. The 6 kids (7 if you count my mom, which I do) played together well. We ate good food. We talked good talks. We drank good drinks. And as a bonus, we remembered to put the Easter baskets out. It was a happy Easter
To prepare for next year, I’m going Catholic and I’m giving up rum for Lent. I’m also going to start working on my dodge ball dodging because whenever my brother gets a ball in his hands, he insists on acting like he’s 13 and I’m 7 again. Yes, I took a soccer ball to the back of the head while we were at the park and then I had to listen to Mike cackle maniacally. Just a warning, old man, laughing that hard at your age is unattractive and unhealthy, so stop it.
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I guess you wouldn’t be up for drinks at the Ravari room tonight then eh? Just kidding. But get well before midweek will ya. We need to tie one one. I feel your pain though. I have been there and will never, NEVER, ever, never, ever, ever, never, never, Ever drink rum EVER again!!! I mean I know the rules. Right. Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear. Words to live your life by, no doubt. But it gets tricky with the wine, doesn’t it? I mean, what are the rules there? I guess you could write one based on your experience and save thousands of college kids from nights of wearing their insides on their outsides - that is if it is catchy enough and sing songy enough for them to not only remember, but pass on. Something like “When drinking wine, rum is not so fine.” I don’t know, it needs some work. Whadya think?
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:24 pm
They took pictures? If only they had blogs!
March 24th, 2008 at 3:03 am
Did you know that red wine, rum and crabs make for some pretty looking vomit? No? Oh…well…there is still time…run out there and get some crabs (the edible kind!)
My theory is that the crabs added texture, the wine the color and the rum was the fricken catalyst that made it all come out.
“When driking wine, rum is out of line.” Hey..at least I tried!LOL
March 24th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I was taught (by my English friend Minnie) “Never mix the grape and grain.” So, I don’t.
But rum is made of sugar.
Completely unhelpful.
March 24th, 2008 at 8:40 am
My dad imparted drinking wisdom to me, with his one-eye-closed, already-tied-one-on, knoweth-of-what-he-speaketh look:
1. Never drink cheap.
2. Never drink sweet.
3. Never blend.
I think 3 covers the wine caveat that is left out of ‘liquor before beer…’. And, oh, the carnage when I haven’t heeded his advice. I’m feelin’ ya, sister. Wanna do a post on hangover remedies?
March 24th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Hair of the dog, lady. Just a little chaser, you’ ll be back in no time…
March 24th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I think Alissa’s, “Never mix the grape and grain,” was right, because what Abby failed to mention in this post was the six-pack of beer she consumed after the bottle wine and before the rum.
March 24th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
LOL! Do tell Bryan! Okay. Who wants to party with Abby? Raise your hands! I do, I do!! Bryan, they can’t make you testify against her in a court of law since you are married and all. So in a court of friends and peers, you don’t have to tell us a thing. Okay so, “Never mix the grape with the grain” and “Just stay the hell away from rum!” How about that? That makes it pretty simple.
March 24th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Um, Bryan? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I do not have any recollection of these “beers” you speak of. And if I don’t remember them, they never happened.
I did not have imbibe-ical relations with that beverage!
And you are like so close to having your IP address banned from this site. Judas.
March 24th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Bryan, Leave Abby alone. It wasn’t actually beer they were Hard Ciders, which is part of the fruit family right?
Talking to Mike on the way home i found out Abby wasn’t the only Clement to revisit her dinner that night, but she was the only one kind enough to sit at the kitchen table with her bowl so we could capture it all on film……:) and laugh and point…..
Tracy
March 24th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
For Mike: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Thank you Tracy. (I’m not thanking you for the extra added detail of my badness. For that, you get the same warning Bryan got.)
March 24th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to play with you anymore. I may have to cancel my trip based on the above information. Do you really expect me to bring young children with me?!?!?!
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:42 am
[...] we have homeschool park day today, and my sister TracEy (not to be confused with Tracy, my sister-in-law) and my other niece are coming to visit for the holiday weekend (can I get a [...]