Sally Kern, that’s Not OK
Oh, Sally Kern. Don’t you know that the Bible says lots of silly things that shouldn’t be taken so darn seriously? It is offensive when you say that homosexuals are a bigger threat to this country than terrorists. People don’t like that. You also said, “According to God’s word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle.” Maybe next time you give a hateful speech, you should focus on what is the right kind of lifestyle according to God’s word. This might save you some time, too, because sometimes listing the things that are apparently abhorrent to God takes such a long time. I mean, the list could get pretty long what with Leviticus outlining all of the different types of handicapped people that are not allowed near God. Who has that kind of time? To get you started, here is a partial list of activities that, according to God’s word, encompass the “right kind of lifestyle.”
- Murder (mostly illegal, but in the right context, it’s totally ok. Moses, Samson, I’m talking to you)
- Genocide (it’s important to remember to kill not only the men, but the women, children and animals too. Joshua, Moses, Saul, you little scamps)
- Incest (Abraham and Sarah? I can see you blushing from here. Don’t worry, you’re hardly alone.)
- Polygamy and concubines (adultery is a no-no, but if you have a concubine or some bonus wives, that’s quite different)
- Slavery (especially ok if you’re selling your daughter to pay off a debt)
I’m just saying. Maybe people will respond to you more favorably (i.e. less death threats) if you tell them what God likes instead of what He doesn’t like. Try that next time and let me know how it all turns out. Take care!
March 19th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Boy, I learn more about the real you with every post! I didn’t realize you were so schooled on the subject of The Good Word! Jeez-even if you went to 12 years of catholic schools you wouldn’t know that book so intimatley. Am I right Lynne?!!
March 19th, 2008 at 10:01 am
And what’s with the new comment timer-Do you want me to change my post. Or is it for those with posters remorse. It is not good for my posting confidence!
March 19th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
humm…aren’t we supposed to take our disobedient children and stone them to death on the town square? I’m sure I read that somewhere…I mean…can you just imagine if we start taking all that stuff literally…scary.
I’m so glad I found your blog…just have to make sure I’m not drinking coffee when I read your entries…coffee coming out of my nose is neither pretty nor pleasant.
March 19th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I remember seeing an author on the Today show years ago — he wrote “Genesis” (a book, not the Biblical chapter, of course) — but he said he believed that when God was testing Abraham about killing his only son, the test was to see whether he would know NOT to do it, but God had to intervene in the end because, of course, Abraham took his word literally and didn’t use his brain.
Well, I just tried to look that up so I could find the book title and author’s name, but it’s not happening. I’ll let you know if I figure it out.
March 19th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
My oh my, what a fantastic post. A few years back there was a letter to the editor in a local paper outlining all of the absurdities of Leviticus and how the Bible Thumpers should just lay off the homosexual community. It was both hysterical and incredibly sad.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Umm, Kristin is right - what’s the bible anyway???? Hail Mary…
March 20th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Lynne, you’re not fooling anybody! You probably couldn’t sleep last night because of the guilt from leaving that comment.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:25 am
LOL - I didn’t hear the speech (been trying to stay away from the mass media in the last week or so) but I luuurve your descriptions of other ‘taboo’ things that are OK in the big book.
Thanks for making me smile
K
March 20th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Hey Abby,
Your not the only one that thinks Sally Kern needs a good talking to. Check out You tubes “Ellen Degeneres calls Sally Kern”.
Is it sad that Sally reminds me of my mother…… Thank God for outside influences.
See ya this weekend
Tracy
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:28 pm
LOL! This post was awesome! Too bad you are not posting on Xanga or I’d give you a shit load of minis and stars and eprops and everything else. But since you’re not, a simple, “Amen sister!” will have to do.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:14 am
This is why it’s so boring to be your friend. You know so little about so little, really, can’t you branch out a bit?
Tres impressive, madam!