Sundays with Stretchy Pants

I want my daylight in the morning, not at night. And I’m tired of this stupid time change. I’m tired and cranky. If I’m not tired, it’s because I accidentally slept in an extra hour and then I’m still cranky because I overslept and then the kids got up and how am I supposed to do laundry and check Facebook when I’m up an hour late? Guess I’ll have to skip the laundry. I could set an alarm clock, but I am a woman of privilege and I like to wake up and scrub my toilets at my leisure, not when my alarm tells me. Boy these first-world problems are a drag.

Here’s something fun that Dawn shared on the Twitter. I almost didn’t have time to watch it, but I did. Now I’m 1 hour, 5 minutes and 28 seconds behind on my day, but it was so worth it.

Since I gave you a dirty, dirty video yesterday, I thought I’d give you one that is sweet and homemade, like cookies. See if you can find the metaphor.

*spoiler alert*
The reason the “oh me me” person wasn’t allowed to go along with the “come on” person is because the “oh me me” person is a gay and the “come on” person is a prominent church leader. At least, that’s what I gathered from Maya’s explanation that the “come on” person, “thinks mean is nice and nice is mean.” It’s clearly a metaphor for homophobic attitudes in the name of religion. I had to add “in the name of religion” because who else thinks mean is nice and nice is mean? They think it’s nice to try to convert homosexuals, and they think nice loving homosexual relationships are mean. The end.

Did you hear Ricky Gervais on Fresh Air whenever that was on? I don’t know when it was on because I don’t know what day it is today because that’s just how I roll. You can probably look it up on the iTunes, though. Anyway, he said, “You can’t choose your sense of humor, it’s like sexuality,” which was nice to hear since I like the sarcasm, but sometimes I try to be less sarcastic and then I laugh less, which is no good for anybody. But the best thing about hearing him say that is that it reminded me of his hilarious “animals are gay” bit. Not safe for work or children, but super funny and I wanted to share it with you. Because I care.

Last Thursday, some special ladies and I had the opportunity to chat with/stutter at Katie Couric and Kathryn Stockett, author of the New York Times bestseller, The Help. You can see me, Vanessa Druckman, Amy Turn Sharp, and Kelley Megehan chatting about the controversial best seller on the CBS web show @Katie Couric below.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

I know this interview really has nothing to do with me, but I just want to tell you I thought it would be a great opportunity and lots of fun, but I was extremely nervous and actually wanted to back out a million times. The only reason I did it was so I could be an example to my kids. I am not one of those parents who has concrete goals for her children. All I want is for them to know themselves (so much good in life comes from just that one thing) and I want them to do things that challenge them. So I told them how scared I was and I told them I didn’t want to do it because I was so nervous, but that I was going to do it anyway because I knew it would be fun if I could just get past it. In the days leading up to the interview, the kids gave me encouragement and tips on chatting up celebrities. Lena suggested that I ask Katie and Kathryn what they like to do in their spare time. She said, “Celebrities like it when you ask about their real life instead of just their work,” which is a tip she learned when she met her very favorite voice actor at an anime conference a couple of months ago. I didn’t have a chance to ask that, but maybe next time.
P.S. Mom, my bit starts at about 17:50-something.

I’m so glad it’s March. I’m not even bothered by the huge piles of melty, dirty snow out there. I’m not, because it’s March! And spring is almost here! And I get to go grocery shopping tomorrow! And I get to use Bryan’s fancy pants Excel spreadsheet with a pivot table or something like that so my inputted (is that a word?) recipes spit out an accurate grocery list, unlike the inaccurate grocery lists I usually take to the store.

This new grocery list thing is a big deal because I plan my menu for the whole month and shop for the whole month in one shot, only going back to the store for a quick weekly trip for produce and other perishables. When the grocery list is long enough to include the fixin’s for a month’s worth of meals, some things get left out, which drives me insane. When multiple recipes share certain ingredients, I used to have to tally them up very carefully, which took forever. Tallying and I don’t get along. I get bored with it and then I make mistakes and double tally one thing while forgetting to tally another and it’s just a huge headache and makes me want to write, “pizza, Chinese, pizza, fish fry, pizza…” on the month’s menu.

Enter my husband, the Overlord of Organization, the Sultan of Symmetry, the Rajah of Regulation, the King of Configuration and all-around great guy, Bryan “The Spreadsheet Whisperer” Aldrich! (And the crowd goes wild!) I told him what drove me crazy about the stupid grocery list and he made the crazy go away, just like Thorazine. And then I asked him to marry me all over again. He’s thinking about it.